Blimp

I posted that I reached the magical number of 101 pounds lost on December 11.

Then Christmas happened. And I started eating junk food and bread products and fast food.
And Tat stopped doing flyers, which meant I stopped doing flyers.
Then I got sick in early January.

The result of all of this is that at my six month appointment (January 28), I was 259.

two hundred and fifty nine pounds.

I gained. And not just a little bit. Apparently my body likes to go big or go home.

***

Awful doesn't even begin to cover how I felt. This was further compounded by the highly unsatisfying doctors visit where I felt like a big, fat, RnY failure.

I wallowed for about a week. And then I realized a few key things:
1) I need physical exercise. Some people can do this on diet alone. I, apparently, am not one of them.
2) I really can't eat stuff like cereal or bread or junk food. The junk food is a no brainer, but I can't believe I let it creep back into what I eat.

I refocused and did two major things:
Redefined what I consider a treat. My two big things right now are No Sugar Added Jell-o chocolate pudding and honey lemon tea.

Added a wack of physical exercise. I do Biggest Loser on the Wii at home 3-4 times a week and Tat & I have made a re-commitment to the gym - we go 2-3 times a week and spend a solid hour and a half each time.
I conquered my fear of the treadmill and everything bouncing, and I set a major goal for myself: To run two 5k's this year - one on May 28, and the other on October 2. Run. Not walk. (To do this I started following the C25K program). We go to Zumba a couple of times a week and I'm hoping we make it to an Aquafit class sometime soon.

I'm still not down to my December 11 weight, but I'm close. In 3 weeks I've lost 16 pounds.

But most of all?

I don't feel awful anymore.

Love Story

Saturday night I looked out my 7th story window and noticed the rink was empty.

"Let's go skating." I suggested.

I hadn't skated since before I hit double digits, but it's like riding a bike, right? Easy-peasy.

Um. Not exactly.

I basically spent the majority of the time like this:

What struck me was the fear.

Fear made my legs go stiff. I didn't trust the surface of the ice; I didn't trust my balance. I locked my legs and swayed from the waist, too terrified to move.

"Take my hands," Keith urged me. I placed my hands in his and he pulled me along, gently, slowly.

I put my hands in his, and for a brief moment, I glimpsed a tiny sliver of our future together. I saw our three year old, skating for the first time, her tiny hands being held in her daddy's hands as he guided her around the ice.

The fear shifted, diminished.

I knew I wouldn't fall. I knew I was safe, my hands in his.

cake v.02

(courtesy of The Cake Whisperer)
Feeling slightly better.
It's pretty awesome eh?
Can't wait to see it in real life!

Stuff I'm digging lately ....

This sign:
(from Etsy)Wouldn't that just be the cutest thing to have propped beside the card box/guestbook? I'd obviously change the colours and after I could hang it somewhere in our house!

These hangers:
(Also from Etsy)
I'll confess: I really want these. Like, really really want. For me & all my girls. They're freaking adorable.

Another confession: I've been spending a LOT of time looking at different dresses for myself. And the best place to do this? PreOwnedWeddingDresses, hands down. They have EVERYTHING. From David's Bridal to Maggie Sottero to Jim Hjlem to even designers like Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier. Best thing? You actually get to see the dress on a real woman, not some 6 foot size negative 6 model, and the prices can be up to 75% off retail. Effing. Score. Every bride needs to know about this site.

True story: Earlier this week I was so engrossed in looking at dresses I completely forgot to leave to pick up Keith from work. Ahem. (Can you say em-barrr-aaasssing?)

So that's what I'm into lately. Anything you'd like to share?

The cake

I'm currently hyperventilating over the cost of our cake.

I think this will be a battle won by Keith.

And I'm realizing that according to all the 'experts' out there, I'm going about planning my wedding the entirely wrong way. I'm basically booking the first vendor I meet with. 'Experts' say to try at least 3 of each.

Can you say EXHAUSTING? I literally do not have the time or patience to meet with three separate vendors for each thing. Plus, this internet and email thing? VERY HANDY TOOL.

But still. Hyperventilating over the cost of this damn cake.
Keith likes our baker. Doesn't want to meet with anyone else.
Therein lies our problem.

I think I might let him have this one. He conceded on the honeymoon registry idea (not registering at all, thank you. One less stressor).

I don't have any pictures to show you of it because its a custom designed sketch, but I'll try my best to describe it:

Three tier cake. The bottom and top tier will be white, with the middle tier being orange. The white tiers will have a dark gray ribbon around the bottom. There will be a spray? cascade? of sugar-paste flowers on the side of the cake, reaching from the top of the bottom tier to the bottom of the top tier, and the colour of the flowers will be white in the middle and then gradually whiten so that the ones at either end will be orange.

Whew. That was a mouthful. Hopefully I'll have a sketch pretty soon so I can actually show you what it's going to look like.

And the flavours?
We've tentatively decided on chocolate cake with raspberry filling, vanilla cake with cookies & cream filling, and red velvet with cream cheese filling.

Its a damn shame I'm probably only going to be able to eat three bites of it.