something else

The wind is blowing so hard today. It's making the newly-leaved trees swish back and forth as if they were waves, crashing onto the sand. The sound through my open windows is intoxicating; I wish I could stay in bed to prolong the fantasy that the sound actually is water against land.

Too bad I have class in 45 minutes. F*$king school.

caution: F bombs ahead

What IS it that makes me so irrationally angry when my laptop is fucked up?

I JUST got it back today from it being repaired for a week. I had to re-install Windows on it myself, so that took 2 hours. I noticed it was getting really hot on the left side, but I went ahead and starting installing stuff like MSN, Office, Sims2, and it crashed on me (and it won't re-start). It was only on for THREE HOURS! That's gotta be a world record or something. ONLY THREE FUCKING HOURS.

I'm so incredibly fucked off right now. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I called the place that repaired it. I distinctly remember ending the message by yelling "I don't know what you did to it, but it's FUCKED."

Ooops.

Something tells me they won't be a hurry to return my call.

Why I love Keith: numbers 15, 16 & 17

Every morning before going to work, he puts 4 shakers filled with water in the fridge for me to mix later.
He re-sets the alarm to whatever time I need to wake up.
He asks if I'm ready for the dog and doesn't let her in the room until I say yes.*


*Molly isn't allowed to sleep with us during the night due to his allergies & bed size, but when he leaves for work in the morning he lets her in so I don't have to wake up alone.

the day started out aggro and turned into good

I didn't do any of the workout stuff I had planned yesterday, so that's a fail.

Did you know that Wal-Mart sells bridal stuff? Like veils/tiaras, cake toppers, even favour kits and invitations. Wow. I already planned on getting my shoes there, now I'm probably going to get my tiara and they have these cute little wine glass candles that would be perfect for around the centerpiece. Who cares if the headpiece costs 20$ or 200$? And more importantly, who actually notices? I know I don't care, and I don't care if people notice! 20$ is CHEAP, people!

My laptop is broken AGAIN. This makes it the third time in about as many months - the last repair only lasted a week and a half. I'm going in to drop it off tomorrow and I've already stated quite firmly that I WILL NOT be paying for whatever's wrong, because shelling out 70$ each time in 2 weeks is NOT acceptable.

School starts tomorrow...my evening class (Civil Procedures II) was canceled on Friday. I get a reduction in tuition, of course (making my tuition only 688$), but if I can take it during the day right now, then that's preferable. The situation with Civil Pro II is that they are doing a complete overhaul of the Rules of Civil Procedure in January of 2010. And guess when the course is offered in the day program? January 2010. So to avoid having to re-buy new textbooks and also to avoid having to re-learn all of the damn rules, I want to get it done now.

Grades are in! Keith got a B, which qualifies him for a CGA (stands for Canada General Accountant) exemption.

Basically, the way it works is if you take these courses now, and achieve a minimum grade of 70%, then you are exempted from writing that test later on to qualify to become a CGA. You can qualify for up to 13 CGA exemptions. That's Keith's plan - so it puts a little bit of pressure on him to make sure he gets at least a B- to qualify. There's really no room for failure (anything lower). I'm so happy for him! :)

And myself, I don't know if saying 76.05% is the same as saying 76.5%, or even if they round up final marks. If the first one is true, then I got a B; if the second one is true then I got a B+. Either way, I'm very very happy with my mark, especially after such a shitty start (64% on a midterm worth 25% - YUCK). And for participation I got 70%; I did miss 3 classes so that makes sense.

I also got 75% on my final (worth 25%) - I wrote it in TWENTY MINUTES. I'm not even kidding you. Me a happy Sarah!

Um, that's about it, I guess. Off to watch Family Guy! :)

Actual - Saturday

Saturday - Light housework, 20 minutes of treadmill, some weight-machines (8 x 15 reps x 3 x 2), 20 minute swim, 40 minute walk (due to crappy shoes and a blister on the bottom of my foot).

Added: 29 minutes of DDR and a 30 minute walk.

My upper arms are very much hurty right now. And Keith said he would make me a shake half an hour ago and he's still sitting so close to his screen I fear it'll swallow his head.

PS: GO CANUCKS! awww shit; chicago just scored to tie it up.

PPS: If you're wondering why I'm writing this all down, every week I have to write it down and give it to the doctor; if I don't put it here I'll forget/lose it.

Actual - Friday

Friday - 25 minutes of DDR, 20 minutes of treadmill, some weight machines (15 reps x 3). This didn't happen, I did a 30 minute walk instead.
20 30 minute swim, 25 29 minutes of DDR.

There. I did it (sorta, kinda, maybe?)

Now I'm off to snuggle in bed and choose a movie off RogersOnDemand as my reward.

Workout

Monday - did nothing except sleep, read and enjoy my first day of unemployment.

Tuesday - also did nothing; weigh-in revealed a loss of only a pound and a half inch. Bummed. (Totals: 21 pounds and 3 inches)

Wednesday - Light housework+, 30 minute power-walk, 20 minute swim.

Thursday - 40 minute walk*. In the rain, no less.

Friday - 25 minutes of DDR, 20 minutes of treadmill, some weight machines (15 reps x 3), 20 minute swim, 25 minutes of DDR.

Saturday - Light housework, 20 minutes of treadmill, some weight-machines (15 reps x 3), 20 minute swim, 40 minute walk.

Sunday - Light housework, 25 minutes of DDR, 20 minute swim, 40 minute walk. Keith plays ball-hockey.

Monday - 20 minute swim. Keith plays ice-hockey.

Up until Thursday, this list is truthful. We'll see how I do over the weekend, but that's what I want to accomplish. Let's hope that all my hard work this week will result in a good-sized drop in the scale on Tuesday!

* when I say "40 minute walk" that usually means a loop around our neighbourhood with the dog. She's loving this new exercise regime. On the days that we don't go on our walks, we try to take her out for a good 20 minutes of fetch.
+ Yes, I count housework as exercise. Anything helps. I actually do half-lunges when I'm vacuuming, believe it or not!

(oh, almost forgot to mention; it stopped on day 13, thankfully! I asked the doctor about it on Tuesday, and she said that if it happens next month, then to DEFINITELY go for an ultrasound. She thinks I might have had a cyst that burst, based on the amount of cramping I had. GulpGulp)

Big Bang Theory

I love this song, the band that sings it, and I absolutely adore the TV show it's a theme song for. (I seriously sit there and giggle for a straight half hour. It's that good).



In other not so great news, this makes it day 11 and I'm starting to freak right the fuck out. *sigh* And the pain is unbearable - today I took 12 extra-strength tylenol just to get through my 8 hour shift. Not good.

Speaking of that, ONE MORE SHIFT, BAY-BEE! I'm going to be so bored next week, but I picked up a few books - The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb, Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner and Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs (which I've already finished).

I'm never good at conclusions, so I'm just going to say - watch the video, hope you enjoy it - I'm off to download some music because of course I lost it all when my harddrive crapped out. Ugghh.

I'm in love

This is my desktop - isn't it just flat-out cute??

Seeing green.

I'm talking to my cousin right now and I'm trying my hardest to squash these feelings of complete jealousy.

She's a year younger than I am and I just found out she wants to be married in 2011 - either August or September. And that her dad will probably foot the majority of the bill.

Contrast that to my situation; I want to be married in 2011 too, in October, and Keith and I will be paying for the entire thing ourselves.

She just seems to have it so easy in everything. Her parents are paying for her university, while I have to borrow from the government. Her fiance just sold his house and so they plan on building an entire new house in a year or so.

God, I sound so petty. And don't get me wrong, I AM genuinely happy for her. I AM.
I just wish I wasn't so jealous of how easy she has it. And I wish I wasn't the kind of person TO get jealous about it all.

Sigh. I'm a horrible, selfish, petty person. And jealous. Don't forget about that.

day 21; 3rd weigh in

Only lost 3.5 pounds (1.6 kg) this week, and no inches. My total is 20.5 pounds (9.3 kg) in 3 weeks.

However, I'm still on this 'period' like thing and I feel incredibly crampy/bloated and I bet you anything I'm retaining water like crazy.
Hopefully next week this problem won't be there and I'll have a big drop in the scales again.

Fingers crossed.

I QUIT!

I gave my notice today. As of next Sunday, I will no longer work at Wendy's.

Such a relief! I hate the job and have since day one. It's amazing I lasted nearly 7 months; so many times I came to work and just wanted to shout "I QUIT!" and storm out of there.

I made a stupid rookie mistake on Facebook the other day with my status saying something along the lines of the "M" word and my aunt (who lives with my mom) saw it and emailed me about it. Woops. I told her to keep a lid on it since it's not official yet. Must remember: Family on Facebook, don't put anything you don't want to be emailed about! YA!

Hopefully me quitting my job won't affect our mini-vacation plans to go to Toronto for the last weekend in May. I really want/need to just get away for a bit. We both do. It most likely won't - I'll have my osap by then as well as I still get 1 more paycheque from Wendy's.

Besides, by next week, I'll probably be hired on as a cashier at Wal-Ma.rt - I stupidly applied during inventory week so I've had my 2 interviews but they haven't had time to check my references yet. But now that inventory week is over they should be able to get that ball rolling.
Hopefully.

Oh, one more thing; and this might be TMI so if you don't like talking about monthly girly stuff, stop reading now -
Kay, this week I've been having what I think is my period - problem is, I'm still finishing off my pill pack! I've never had this happen before; I start my week of pills on Tuesdays, and usually I finish the 21 days of active drugs and then my period arrives the next Saturday. So should I count the first day of bleeding as day 1 for this cycle or was it just 'breakthrough bleeding'? (but I thought breakthrough bleeding was different?) If I count this as starting a new cycle, then that means my last cycle only lasted 19 days! Something tells me that's really not good!
(oh, did I ever tell you that the doctor with this weight-thing asked me if I had PCOS because of my incredibly high insulin resistance? Gulp.)

day 12: weigh-in

I'm trying not to let this blog become a once a week thing but last week was so busy!

Weight Loss: 9 pounds (4.1 kg)
Inches: 1.5 off my waist

Total (12 days):
17 pounds (7.7 kg) and 2.5 inches.

Also, I finally got the student assistance restriction lifted this week and so I've applied plus registered for full-time studies, starting in May. Such a relief to get that done!

thinking about more school (again, and again, and again: a theme revisited)

I'm flirting with the idea of continuing my post-secondary education come NEXT fall with starting a BA in Law & a minor in History. I realized this week that if I'm going to pursue this seriously, I have to start taking the steps now in order to be ready (academically and financially) to apply by this winter.

My mom thinks its a good idea - she pointed out that during economy 'downtime', staying in school is the ideal thing to do, so that when the economy picks up again, you're ready for it with more schooling and will have a better time finding a job than if I left school within the next year.

I figured out today that if I decide to pursue an LLB, I'll be thirty by the time I'm done. THIRTY.

yuckyuckdoublegagyuck.

day 6: first weigh in

I lost 8 pounds (3.6kg) this week and an inch off my waist. My blood pressure also went from 140/80 to 127/75.

I'd write more but since I closed last night (4-11pm) and opened this morning (6:30-2pm) and just got home fifteen minutes ago...*yawn* zzzz.

(Oh yeah, did I mention that I recieved an 81% "unofficially" on my Statement of Claim? WOOT WOOT)

day 3: self-talk

Time: 20 minutes

Calories burned: 148.46*

Shakes taste fantastic and I'm not even the slightest bit hungry, much to my surprise.

However, I miss chewing, and I still want to put food in my face. I have to keep reminding myself on a constant basis that I'm not hungry, so there's absolutely no reason to eat.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

*this might not seem like alot, but I'm burning 16% of what I ingest in a day.

A to the Q

On my last entry, Heather asked:
Do they expect you to do a certain amount of exercise on the program as well? Have you set yourself personal goals of weight and rewards for reaching them? How did you find/enrol for this? I'm curious to learn more.

If you already do daily excerise, they recommend continuing what you already do, but it's not time to start anything new. (I have a whole list of stuff that's not allowed, including "sky-diving, horseback riding, diving alone, etc.") However, I plan on "cheating" a bit and start incorporating 20 minutes of playing DDR into my day.

I haven't set myself personal goals of weight, persay. There's not much I can do to lose the weight faster than what I'm already doing, and to me, thats enough. Right now my weekly goal is to limit my Diet Sprite to three cans a day. I have to drink 300mL of water per shake, plus an additional 3 litres of liquid a day.

Bringing up rewards is interesting, because in the past, my reward system was based on food. I don't know how I'll reward myself now, but I guess I'll have to figure that out.

I found out about this when I was going for my assessment for an eating disorder - I was clicking around on the Ottawa Hospital website and stumbled across it. You need a doctors referral (with fasting blood tests) plus a consult with the clinic. As well, before you start product you need to do another fasting blood test plus ECG. Find more info here.

In other news, I just finished my first shake. Not bad. (I can't believe I just said that).

day 1

I start product today. I'm a bit scared, especially when I return to work on Thursday. I'm just anxious to get into ketosis.

Expect alot of my blog entries in the future to simply state

"I'm hungry."
"I'm really hungry."
"I WANT TO EAT YOUR FACE."

affirmation

I'mquittingI'mquittingI'mquitting.

yesiamyesiamyesiam.

Back? Maybe?

I have no excuse for why I haven't been posting, except for the fact that - once I stepped away, I found it easy to stay away. Almost too easy.

What do you say after an absence of almost four months? Life hasn't changed that much. I'm still working full-time, hating the politics immensely (like, if you call in sick, you risk forfeiting all your hours for the next couple of weeks because they don't think you're reliable. Needless to say, my boss is a capital J-erk).

I'm still going to school part-time, this semester I'm taking Civil Procedures I. I didn't do so well on the midterm (64%) and I'm waiting for my mark on my Statement of Claim (which is the originating document in the process of suing someone). I have to start working on my OSAP appeal very soon if I want to re-join the program as a full-time day student. To that effect, it sure would be helpful if the program coordinator responded to my e-mails! I hate administration people.

I guess the most radical change is that I'm enrolled in this weight management program at the local hospital. I get to eat nothing but 900 calories a day in the form of shakes (plus water/diet soda, etc) for three months and then slowly transition off. Along with that lovely diet I have weekly meetings for 26 weeks during this process, in order to re-learn how to deal with food and eat healthier. I start product on April 1st, and I'm thinking work is going to be hideously difficult. You lose up to 20% of your body weight in those three months.

I don't know if I'll go back to posting regularly yet. We'll see.