Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2000-2009: God I'm glad it's over.

Inspired by a little coffee, hope dies last, rainy saturday, just a titch & fiveblondes (x 2).

In 2000, I graduated from elementary school and went from Vancouver Island to Gravelbourg, Saskatchewan to attend a francophone Catholic boarding school. It was not a pretty year; I fell in love with my first boyfriend, only to be dumped a month later because I wasn't "cool enough." My room was vandalized and I was bullied. I started smoking to fit in and gained close to fifty pounds. I went home at Christmas to find my dad sleeping in the guest bedroom downstairs and was told my parents were in the process of separating. I haven't really enjoyed Christmas since.

In 2001, I spent the summer with my dad and sister while my mom did a summer semester at UVic for her Masters program. At the end of the summer we moved (Mom, my sister & I) to Clinton, Ontario (pop 3200). I went to a Catholic school and rocked a uniform - navy blue pants, white long-sleeved dress shirt and a navy blue short-sleeved polo layered on top. I'm proud to say that to this day I still have not worn a kilt. My mom taught Religion and English to my peers. I dated anyone who would look at me twice, got dragged out of the smoking pit more times than I care to remember and joined a competitive swim team (Huron Hurricanes). My mom and I fought. A lot. I got to know my extended family, especially my grandma. Sundays we would go to mass in St. Columban and hang out at Grandma's the rest of the day. I was a part of the Liturgy group, badminton and swim team at school. In all my yearbook photos, I'm unsmiling, legs crossed and arms folded in front of me. I'm still relatively skinny.

2002, I had short hair. I got involved in our schools ministry, reading at masses and the morning prayer every morning. I started studying Catholicism in order to be baptized. I was also involved in our schools pro-life group, along with the junior badminton team, the Huron Hurricanes (competitive swim team), and our school swim team. I met and dated my first long-term, long-distance boyfriend. We lasted for 7 months and lived 45 minutes away from each other, and one time only saw each other once in two and a half months due to my schedule. I failed my first class, grade 10 academic math.

Easter of 2003, I was baptized into the Catholic faith. I went to his prom even though we had broken up the night before. I made my own dress. I fought with my mom. A lot.

I spent the first month of 2004 in Ottawa with my aunt. I returned home to write my final exams, failing math again, and then moved to Ottawa on my 17th birthday, the day of Janet Jackson's infamous "wardrobe malfunction." I started skipping school and smoking a lot of weed, especially as the days got warmer. I lived with a raging coke-head who hated me, again dating anyone who would look at me twice. I tried E for the first time and loved it. Tired of being on welfare, I got a job working full-time at Wendy's up the street, often working 12 hour days. I've never been back to high school. I drank a lot with my new roommates, and slept in a sectioned off dining room. I lost my job in November and went back on welfare.

2005 saw me do much of nothing. My roommate got pregnant so I left and moved to Fitzroy Harbour for two months. It was not a pretty time. Drank a lot, had lots of DRAMA! concerning the people in my life. Moved back to Ottawa at the end of June and met Shawn while hanging out for Canada Day. We panned money for drugs and got some E. We spent the entire summer urban camping while panning for money and getting high. It was one of the best summers of my entire life. Just after Thanksgiving, I moved outside permanently and hooked up with a heroin/crack addict named Tom. He gave me my first hit of crack and I was instantly, instantly addicted. I tried to keep a job and failed after 2 months.

2006 I was a bonafide homeless crackhead. I lived for the next hit in my pipe and was turning into a really ugly human being. New Years Eve I became so ill I shat myself while puking, and that was the absolute final straw. When I could move again, I started living at the Young Woman's shelter and started the long process of breaking the crack addiction, although I did spend the spring getting high every night on E, often popping 8-12 pills throughout the night. Steven "Catcus" Beriault and Tim Wonja were murdered within two weeks of each other in June. I spent the entire summer under first bridge and drank a lot. I survived on 20$ a day made from panning - 5$ for a pack of cigarettes, 5$ for a shawarma and 10$ for enough booze to get me drunk. I enrolled in a school program aimed at homeless youth and completed an English credit and my GED. I applied for - and was accepted into - the Law Clerk program at Algonquin, OSAP, and residence. I started in the fall and promptly failed four out of five classes.

2007 In January, my Grandma passed away. I still miss her and think of her often. I restarted in my program and managed to pass three. I kept going into the summer, taking five and again, passing three. I HATED living in Residence; to me they were immature, drunkard twits. I moved out in August to a really nice apartment with a roommate. She lost her job and ultimately decided to move back home. I started chatting online to someone in England and we grew as close as our computer monitors would let us. I flew to England over Reading Break to meet him, a spur of the moment trip that saw me detained by customs for not booking a hotel before arriving. I passed a measly two out of 6 courses in the fall semester. I reconnected with an old co-worker from Wendy's and we started dating. At the very end of the year, I went for psychological testing and was diagnosed with adult ADD along with a non-verbal learning disability and was granted one more semester on a reduced course-load. Tammy Couture was murdered in November. I got my cat, Elvis in September and my dog, Molly, in December just before Christmas.

2008 saw me be evicted from the apartment I was living in. I spent the month of March living with Shawn in his tiny 1-bedroom. Our relationship ended with a brutal fight over keys when he wanted me to leave. Keith's parents, whom I had never met before, came and picked me & Molly up and let me live with them. Catcus' killer is found not-guilty and is set free. Tim Wojna's is not and is sentenced to to two years less a day plus 240 hours of community service. I failed my courses once again and this time OSAP would not give me any more funding. I went back on welfare after an agonizing month of having absolutely no income. I moved in with Keith in July. I found a temp job for a month and then worked full-time at another Wendy's. WORST JOB EVER. I spent Thanksgiving with my family and then actually enjoyed my first Christmas in eight years with Keith's family. I spent the better part of the year a dark redhead.

2009 saw me be re-accepted for funding by OSAP in the spring semester. I took 3 courses and posted a 3.13 GPA. Tammy Coutures' killer had her trial delayed. I quit my job at Wendy's because I was doing a weight-loss/management program with the Ottawa Hospital that required 12 weeks of only consuming 900 calories a day in the form of shakes. I lost 35 pounds, only to gain 15 back. In June, Keith proposed. I'm still not over how pretty my ring is. I started working in buttfuck nowhere Barrhaven at the Wal-Mart in July. In October, I lost one of the best people I've ever met - Keith's mom - quite suddenly. I took four courses in the fall semester and got a B-, 2 B's, and an A-. I worked hard, laughed often, loved much and grieved deeply.

Looking back, all I can say is that I am SO effing glad this decade is over.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


***I quit reading Pioneer Woman shortly after MIL died. I just couldn't take the banal fluff anymore. I couldn't take the spewing of trivial nothingness she comes up with almost daily. Now, don't get me wrong. She used to be good. She used to actually have content to read and stories to share. Now, and I kid you not, she has posts titled "Morning Cow" and "Afternoon Cow" and "Snowy Cow" and "Constipated Cow" and HOLY FUCK I DON'T LIKE COWS THAT MUCH THANKS. And if I see that flipping picture of her in 1987 one more time I will punch someone in the back of the head, ninja-style.

***I don't read dooce unless I am really, really bored. Tonight was one of those nights. I had to go back 8 pages. I want to steal Marlo's eyes and put them on my face. For serious.

***A coworker of Keith's that we hang out with all the time keeps shoving her tongue so far down my throat I'm sure she can taste what I had for breakfast. Keith's okay with it, I am (surprisingly) not. But I cant say anything because she'd get really offended, so I just let it happen. I thought getting engaged stopped this kind of nonsense? Heck, I thought having a boyfriend kind of conveyed the message I chose which side of the bread to butter?

***I really want to name my 2nd son Terrance. After Terry Sawchuk, the goalie for the Detriot Red Wings [starting] in the fifties. I'd name my third son after Jacques Plante (goaltender for the Montreal Canadiens also in the fifties, and the first goalie to wear a mask in the NHL in 1959) but hey, can't really rock a French name, being Anglo and all. Sorry dude.
(PS: 1st son would be Andrew, after Andrew Moog, goaltender for the Edmonton Oilers in the eighties. Keith actually chose this name because apparently Moog was his idol as he was growing up, and we are currently having a raging battle over the middle name. I suspect I will eventually win this battle, especially as I have to push the damn thing out my hooha.) I like the idea of naming our sons after NHL goaltenders. Does this make me totally nerdy? YOUBETCHA.

***This blog makes me want to pursue a career in advertising. Not because she makes it sound glamourous or anything, but just cause. Although I have no idea how the hell to go about doing a thing like that, and I doubt I'll even really try. (Bonus points for being Canadian, FTW.)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


A couple of really really late nights later, and I actually pulled off getting everything done. Such a great feeling! I had to stay up until 4:30 the day before the Corporate report was due, and the day before last I stayed up until 3:30 in the morning doing my self assessment memo and mediation settlement, and yesterday finished working on on my justification report before admitting I felt really sick - aches and chills and the whole bit.

Except this morning I woke up and other than having a stuffed head, everything else was gone. SO BONUS.

So I finished the powerpoint to go along with the justification report that I have to present later today, picked up the living room and did the dishes. Now I'm probably going to be late to school but eh. All I have to do is hand in the mediation settlement and listen to more presentations.

My work schedule is CRAZY the next two weeks. I work Thursday, Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Wednesday. BUT!!! I actually get Christmas Eve off! SO BONUS. I'll probably be working Boxing Day though, seeing as its a should be an okay shift - time and a half for working on a stat holiday and so busy it should go by really fast. (For all you Americans, Boxing Day in Canada is like Black Friday, except in recent years it's been extended for a week.)

We don't go back to school January 11th, which is SO LATE, holy crap. It means I won't get my OSAP until the end of January.

So its official, we are DEFINITELY going to Mexico in February over Reading Break - Feb 15th to 21st. My Grandmother came up with some REALLY nice digs in Mexcio for us, free of charge. We're staying here - Villa del Palmer.

SO BONUS. (I think it goes without saying that I'm so effing excited it takes a concentrated effort not to pee myself when I think about it).

Now, off to school!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sprint to the finish

The month of December? Especially the next two weeks?

So busy. So, so busy.

Busy enough that I'm feeling the stress, especially today; I got home from work last night around 12:30, went to bed at 2, and got up at 6:30, unable to sleep another wink.

I have:
-Worked 3:30 to midnight this past Sunday & yesterday.
-Presentation later today; I just finished putting together the file that accompanies it.
-Report due on Thursday for Corporate Law which I haven't even started.
-Work 3:30 to midnight (I hate you, Christmas hours) on Wednesday.
-Presentation & assignment due for L&T on Friday.
-Keep the house clean, a never-ending, exhausting chore.
-Work 4 to midnight Saturday & Sunday.
-Self-assessment memo, oral presentation, report and powerpoint due on Tuesday for English.
-Work 3:30 to midnight on Thursday.
-Final exam for L&T on Saturday at 4:30pm (open book!), Christmas party afterwards.
-Work Sunday 3:30 to midnight.
-Final exam on the 15th for Corporate at 8am. Open book!
-Work 3:30-11 on Wednesday.
-Final exam on the 17th for Disputes. Must prepare study/cheat sheet (doublesided, WHOO!).
-December 19th is when my open availability starts for work. If the hours keep up the way they have been, I'll be working 21 to 30 (or more) hours a week - usually I only work 11-15, so it's a big jump.

Right now I'm giving myself an hour of "free" time before I do a load of dishes and pick up in the living room as well as getting myself ready to head out for the day.

I'm so tired already, just looking at that list. Now, off to play some World Adventures: Sims 3. Nothing beats flat out denial!

And it's snowing. Double yuck.