Wonderful Mood!

I’m in a very strange, almost magical mood tonight, which has, so far, made me be able to resist going out and buying a case of beer with the last of my money, every so often getting up and dancing my heart out in my new flat to Happy Hardcore (Akaiya’s “Rampage”, “Up To No Good” and “Silly Raver” mixes), have a slight grin on my face even though I’m 85% sure the guy I’ve been seeing for the last month is ending things with me, and I’m trying to repell the another one who is an utter skeezebag (want an example? When I said I felt like going out and drinking & dancing he said he could “ply me with alcohol then take advantage of me”. Charming fellow) and has now led me to post on here and update you all on my wonderful mood. :)

Add to this gorgeous mood a sprinkle of a particular sweetheart cutie, if you will. Who has been making me fall for him just a little more each day for the past two months - very sneaky, if you ask me, because I didn't realize it was happening until the last week or so. I don't want to fully fall for him quite yet though, for reasons that have nothing to do with him and everything to do with my issues. So for now I'm just enjoying the lovely feelings a newly discovered liking for someone brings, enjoying all the laughs and slow, meaningful kisses and compliments he doles out occasionally, like sweets from a jar only brought out on special occasions.

I haven't felt like this in a very long time - so long, in fact, that I had forgotten just how amazing this feeling is. It's like butterflies and the first perfect spring day of the season and the joy of seeing a beautiful sunrise and coming home and smelling freshly baked bread waiting for you and a million other wonderous, comforting, thrilling things all mixed up together in just the right amount, starting somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach and slowly threading it's way through the rest of my body like molasses. It's such an enchanting and delicious concoction that I have to be careful not to indulge too much lest I get drunk on the feeling and lose sight of the reason which has caused me to feel this way.

But I'm not holding my breath or anything, because that's just silly. Dontcha know you can die if you do that?