Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Ex-boyfriend

Do you remember my ex-boyfriend from high school? The one that I dated for 7 months in Grade 10, went to prom with, found out later that he had a ring in his pocket but never asked? That one?

Found out on Monday he actually got married about a year ago.

We were surprisingly innocent in our dating. He was no pre-martial sex, and I had lost the v-card before him but was totally iffy on the whole doing-it-again thing. Besides, I was carrying around a whole bunch of guilt from that encounter, because hey, I'm Catholic, and its a little something we're known for.

So we groped and kissed, and that was pretty much it. But I still got to get acquainted with his - ahem - you know.

And I would say "I love you" and mean it and talk about our future and everything, but in the back of my mind would think : I hope we never get married BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR TINY PENIS for the rest of my life!

(Yes, I was terribly shallow when I was 16).

(And terribly practical).

And while I wish them all the best and everything - still.

TINY PENIS.

3 comments:

Heather said...

That's TOTALLY not shallow, penis size DOES matter (sorry boys, it's true...you need some girth).

And I totally laughed how at the end of this post, I was left thinking about his penis (I even remember his name but since you didnt type it, nor shall I lol) rather than the fact he got married. Thanks for giving Sarah! :P

Britt said...

Hahah!! Poor guy! :)

Kelly said...

One of my first boyfriends was teensy as well, but either didn't know it or was desperately trying to overcompensate for it because he referred to his manhood as "Stanley - like the power tools." Poor guy, my thumb was bigger than his bits.