Monday, April 25, 2011

Less wedding, more life

I made it through my first year of undergrad!! (Can I get a hell yeah?!)

Now that I've had a few weeks to reflect before heading into my summer session I want these next four months to be like, I've come up with a few things:

I'm not too proud of the grades (although I did pass everything) I ended up with, so that's a major focus over the next four months. I want to achieve at least a grade in the B range in all my three courses. This means actually doing the readings, going to class, etc. You know, actually being a student, not just half-assing at being one.

One of the major things is I need, for my own sanity, to stop focusing on the wedding so. freaking. much. Yes it's fun to plan and easy to talk about, but gah. Enough already. I'm tired of constantly being on the look out for inspiration. I'm tired of talking about it - actually, its more like I'm feeling that, Jesus H. Christ, I am more than just a bride. I want to have ACTUAL conversations, and more than that, I want to stop my brain from constantly running on a loop about colours and centerpieces and flowers and whether or not to wear a veil and whether or not I'll change my name and and and and oh effing just shoot me in the face already!

Another huge, major thing is I need to get out of this plateau I've been stuck in for what feels like months. I fluctuate between 238 and 240; I'm tired of seeing those numbers on the scale. I've also really slacked off with the working out, AGAIN. One of my major stumbling blocks is I hate working out alone, but I gave up my gym membership (too expensive for something I don't use, and I'm fed up with their crappy customer service). I also recently found out I get a gym membership included in my tuition, so if I'm going to use a gym...well, I think you can figure it out, right?
I want to go for runs outside this summer; but I'm self conscious about it. I know I need to bite the bullet and just go, but working myself up to that point is proving difficult! I also need to re-start doing the Biggest Loser on the Wii, and actually stick with it for more than a week - and I want to pick up Zumba for the Wii and start doing that a couple of times a week.

I guess what I'm trying to do is be consistent with my working out. I get all fired up for a week or two and do really well and then stop completely, and then get fustrated with what the scale says, and then get all fired up again. It's an awful cycle!

And, of course, it's now summer. Which means fresh produce is in season again - and I want to take full advantage of that this summer! I want to ban bread for an entire month, eat more salads, more fish, less jellybeans. I'm already drooling thinking of steamed asparagus paired with a filet of salmon with some brown rice on the side. So yummy!

I hate setting goals that say - "I want to weigh xx by date", because it never ends up that way, and then I get feeling all defeated and discouraged, but what the hell. I'm going to put this out there.

I want to weigh around the 220 mark by early July. That's 18 pounds in 2 months.

Can I do it? Stay tuned to find out ....


Anonymous said...

trust me I know the "more than a bride" feeling. I am sad that something so wonderful can turn to a stressful thing I just want over with. I hope you handle it all better and that you do great in school.
as for exercise, well it's one step at a time I guess

Heather said...

Well done with your study! You passed, who cares how pretty the pass marks are, way to go!!!

You know, there is a lady at my dog park. She runs so freaking slow and she isnt a delicate nor young thing. But every day when I see her out there, I admire her courage and the effort she puts in to improve her health.