(Surprisingly!) Revealing Meme.

* I got this off of Just Mom's blog. *

I don't drink. Well, yeah, actually, I do. Quite a bit, in fact, although lately I'm finding that I actually can go out and have a few drinks and not have to get smashed every time (it's a bloody revelation, believe you me!). For non alcoholic drinks; chilled tap water, Danasi strawberry flavoured water, hot tea with sugar, Iced Cappuccinos (made with chocolate milk), Sprite & Barq's are among my top picks.

Chore I hate: Doing dishes by hand. uggggh! It's seriously a never-ending task. But then I realize I've been letting my roommate do them for the last 2 weeks (when they're mostly mine) and I feel really guilty.

Pets? Yes. oh yes. Thank you, whoever you might be (up there), for making such perfect, tiny beings, with just the right amount of heartbreaking-sweetness-and-cute, mixed with equal parts spunk & mischievousness, super cuddly, purr-y kittens who, just simply, love you. I have 9/10 week old black-and-white kitten who makes my heart smile every time I look at him. He's seriously my baby, except I don't treat him like one. I'm completely smitten.

Essential electronics: Computer, speakers... Would a watch count? My cell, but that's because it's the only phone I have. Um..oh, and I'm also grateful for printers today. ;-)

Perfume: While I was in France (many years ago now) I discovered this absolutely stunning, gorgeously smelling perfume. I think it was called "baissé" ? In any case, it smelled like you had just bitten into a nice juicy ripe pear and could taste it explode in your mouth, and the scent stayed on my coat for ages and ages afterwards.

I also love Calgon Body Mists' - particularly Tahitian Orchid & mmmm, orange pop! - and I'm hopefully starting to amass what will be an extensive collection of Demeter Fragrance Library Cologne Sprays - I have Gingerale & Sex on the Beach so far. Gingerale is my favourite though.

Gold or silver? White gold, and then silver, please.

Insomnia: Oh, yes. Very, very much. Hence why I got only *counts in head* approximately 12 hours of sleep or so this entire weekend? Tired doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm so sleep-deprived I feel like my head is floating off my neck out into space. Only the sharp, shooty-stabby pains I get whenever I move my neck assures me that it is, in fact, still attached to the rest of my body.

Job title: Perpetual Fuckup, if you're listening to my mother. Student, if you're listening to the government. Just plain, quirky, lil' ol' me, if you're listening to yours truly.

Trait you most admire in other people? Not being afraid to express yourself, or just simply be you. Standing up for what you believe in. Perseverance, a sense of humour (the ability to laugh at yourself - and the world around you - is really something to be proud of, in my opinion) Being of quick wit and sound mind. Intelligence, in any way/shape/form. Having the ability to express yourself artistically, somehow, whether that be photography, playing an instrument, writing, constructing clay pots, composing a symphony, fingerpainting, whatever it is. Having strong convictions, yet at the same time having an open mind. Being really, truly, unconditionally accepting.

Kids? Maybe someday, but not of my own flesh & bone. I really want to adopt my little ones when the time comes. There are too many children out there who need someone to care, love, teach & raise them without adding any of my own DNA to the pile.

Phobia? I don't really have a phobia of anything. I don't think.

Religion? I had the faint inklings of it, once. I'm still searching; I don't think you ever stop. Although I know I can never go back to the Catholic church, because I disagree with the way they run things, I do love the ritualistic aspect of it and it's been my family's-religion-for-generations, so I'm not quite ready - nor will I ever be, I suspect - to try out a new way. Catholicism, for me, is like slipping on a well-worn, well-cared for, denim-and-fleece-lined jacket. Comforting. Warm. Safe. You don't wear it all the time, but whenever you do, it's because you need to, or just want to feel that familiar comfort against your skin. It always fits you perfectly, it always welcomes you back with open arms, as if you've never left it. My mother has always told me I'm quite spiritual (if not religious). Spiritual is good. I can deal with that.

Siblings: Oh man, you ready for this? That I know of, I have 2 adoptive brothers, Jed (1975-1985) and Jesse (1978). Then I have a beautiful, quirky, wonderfully unique, apple-of-my-eye little half-sister, Becky, (1989, same mom, different father, adopted into the same family), and then I have a half-brother, Benjamin (oh dear, I don't know, late 90s?) and half-sister, Emma (3 years younger than Ben) that I've never met, children my birth-mother had later in life, when she was ready. As for siblings on my birth-fathers side, I don't know if I have any. I really don't.

Time I wake up: I think a more appropriate question would be, "When do I sleep?!" Usually I try to get up 2 hours (if I want to shower) before my class starts - at the very latest, an hour & a half beforehand (reading all the blogs I do takes a good chunk of time - about 20 minutes - of my morning routine, plus Facebook and Blackboard and...well, you get the picture!)

Unusual talent/skill: I don't know if this qualifies, but I read faster than anyone else I've ever met. Other than that, I'm pretty much just your wonderful, just-so-average girl who's of the young adult, college-aged persuasion. Nothing special or quirky to see here, folks. Move along now. :-)
Vegetables I hate: Mushrooms. And onions. ewwww. First off, why do we eat pieces of fungi? That's just really, really gross. Beyond disgusting, really. I don't really have a reason for not liking onions - I just don't like them, point blank. I refuse to eat these two things at all times (I've even thought of saying I'm deathly allergic so I'll be SURE to never be served it).....

Worst habit? Chain-smoking. Drinking intoxicating beverages too often in voluminous quantities. Being slightly too impulsive, instant-gratification-seeking, omgosh-I-don't-want-to-wait-give-me-my-reward-NOW-driven. Over-eating. Emotional eating. Eating when I'm not even remotely hungry. Not eating anything at all. Facebooking all hours of the day (and night). Skipping far, far, far too many classes. Spending too much time (excessive amounts, really) sitting my ass in this chair, staring at the screen, all day long. Not listening to my emotions often enough when it comes to affairs of boys & girls. Or my conscience.

X-rays: Abdominal & lungs when I had my appendix removed and then my lungs collapsed afterwards at age 12. Teeth at the dentists, numerous times.

My favorite meal(s): Open-faced tomato sandwiches, (white toast with mayo) sprinkled with salt. A bag of Romaine salad mix, tossed with Hidden Valley Ranch dressing and Herb & Garlic croutons. Rare-to-medium-rare steak with mashed potato and mixed veggies. A restaurant-style, big, fat, juicy hamburger with all the toppings. Spaghetti with a thick tomato-and-ground-beef sauce. Cheese and bacon porgies, sliced fried potatoes with veggies, with a few squirts of Roasted Garlic Mayo on top. McDonald's Egg & Sausage McMuffins and their hash browns. Fluffy buttermilk pancakes (or waffles! or crepes!), topped high with strawberries, whipped cream and maple syrup with a side of sausage links and a glass of chocolate milk. Mangoes. Fruity, super-fresh Frozen yogurt. Gelato. Sushi. Nearly any kind of seafood. A properly done Poutine (fresh hot fries, topped with cheese curds and gravy. yes, i know, that's practically asking a heart attack to strike you down, but it's really good. Honest. Everything in moderation, right?). Oh, and simply cannot forget my absolute favourite: a Chicken Shawarma with extra garlic, lettuce, extra tomatoes, pickles, turnips and just a smidgeon of even more garlic, all wrapped up in a flour tortilla and served hot.

Bits & Bobbles

I hate that I'm able to stay up for more than 24 hours at a stretch, get four or five hours of sleep, and then be up for a long time again (12+ hours). It's slightly annoying, especially when the times you sleep and are awake are all out of wack with the regular world.

Thank goodness for sleeping pills. And books. And Guitar Hero.

And the Dixie Chicks. mmm, country music at its finest.

I've decided to go ahead and spend the money necessary to purchase a violin and take up doing lessons again. I miss it, and playing Guitar Hero these last few days have brought back a faint impression of the joy and satisfaction I feel when I'm playing music (I say faint impression because I'm not actually playing music when I play a video game). So this means I'll also be part-time job-hunting quite soon to make up for the money spent on that endeavor.

Apparently I gave my friend good luck today. He's a goalie on a hockey team and he played a game tonight - and he's very superstitious (like any self-respecting hockey player should be!). Today he saved 99% of the goals scored on him, and since hanging out with me was the only deviance in his normal routine, he credited me with being his lucky charm. I'm flattered, but mostly I think it's
a) he's a good goalie and
b) he's finally settled into playing again.

I'm happy. Deliciously happy.

Tired. Oh, so very, very tired.

I'm so tired I'm listening to 'easy rock' because that's all I have the energy for. Insomnia strikes again - been up for a continuous 28 hours. Egads. and add some wicked cramps (which just appeared a couple hours ago while I was out, oh joy!) to that mix, if you will. Me hurts.

My room is a mess (seriously, to find anything in here, you'd need a backhoe, an excavation permit and an archaeologist's degree), I have all week's notes to recopy and file into the appropriate binders (I take a single notebook with me to all my classes, record my notes, then transcribe them over the weekend) plus some assignments to look at and start working on, one of which is due Tuesday and worth 15%. Gotta love those. Oh, and don't forget the laundry either.

The AIDS walk is tonight, and I had planned on going, but I'm just too exhausted (and sore). That makes me unbelievably sad. Yet again, I find I'm promising myself that next year I'll go. I did the same thing this past Thursday with the "Take Back The Night" March as well. Seriously though, right now it's taking all my energy to move my fingers to the appropriate keys, so it's definitely not going to happen.

Spent the morning with an old acquaintance whom I hadn't seen in over 2 years - he kept commenting on my eyes - at one point he said they were "sweet". Um, what? Eyes can be sweet? .... urr. yeah.

Okay, time for some lovely painkillers - I just reached my pain tolerance threshold and it doesn't feel pretty - and definitely time for a really, really long snooze.....

........just after I finish one of the funniest books in the world, Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner. I read some of last night, and most of it on the 45 min-long bus rides to and from my friends place today - if I hadn't been in public I would have been bent over double in stitches at some of the passages. I've only got a bit left, and it's too good to put down, 28 hours of wakefulness notwithstanding.

I'm craving salad too, but later. much, much later.

Teaching A Lesson

How does something so small and cute cause such a MESS?!!?

This little fella loves to climb into the fridge while yours truly has the door open, wondering what exactly I'm hungry for. Normally I just chase him out by fake-closing the door on him but today I decided to *stern mommy voice* teach him a lesson! Yeah.....

So I shut the door, leaving him inside the fridge and wait for him to squeak. Not even five minutes goes by and I hear a tremendous rattle coming from inside the fridge, so I open the door............CRASH!!! There goes the top shelf! He somehow climbed all of the fridge shelves and was on top of the door. Milk, alcohol bottles (neither of which opened or broke, thank god - cuz they were my roommates), my friend's potato wedges, a tub of garlic butter, and an entire full pitcher of water now decorated the floor in front of the fridge. Thank you, Little One, it was just what I needed to make my day complete as soon as I woke up. And thank you, Mr. Bounty. Your services were greatly required today and you rose to the task admirably. I don't know what I'd do without your "Quilted-Picker-Upper" qualities. Really.

Of puppies and rainbows and sparkly things....yeah right!

I hung out with my bff {best friend forever, like omg!} last night. He invited me along to keep him company while he got his hair done after class. On the way there, I saw someone whom I swore I'd kick his ass from here to next Sunday if I ever did see him again (guess what? I didn't, and I still can't believe I didn't!! If you knew the history - which is something I'd rather not revisit - I think you would kick his ass too).

Went to his place afterwards, and he had a VERY nice surprise waiting for him in his mailbox --- his very first credit card! ohhh dear. What else to do when you get something like that? Why, go out shopping and dinner, OF COURSE! heehee. We're bad, I know. ;-) I kept teasing him & putting ideas in his head of what he could use his credit card on. It was really funny :-)

So we go downtown - now, my bff and I used to live there, quite literally. My address at one point was the cubby next to 93 Rideau (a McDonald's) for a couple of months. So we know a bunch of people, because downtown is the place where "those people" live. Last night was no exception - within 5 minutes of stepping off the bus we ran into 3 people - one who was panhandling and missing a front tooth from when I last saw him (I was saddened by that - the missing tooth, that is), one who proudly exclaimed that 'he was going to jail for 32 months because he stabbed someone' ....uh, yeah. Moving along quickly now....

And, last but not least....an ex-boyfriend. Who somehow wound up inviting himself along on OUR ENTIRE EVENING! *sees red* How rude can one person GET?! And when I say "entire evening" I mean, ENTIRE EVENING! gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! *still fuming* Have any of you suffered through this? How do you diplomatically and politely get rid of someone like that?!

We bought a couple things in the mall - me, Guitar Hero II (yeah, yeah, I know...I'm gonna go hide my head in shame now); him, a computer game (something to do with LordOfTheRings), shoes and some pretty amazing headphones - met up again with friend #1 outside and chatted for a bit (I slipped him 5$ just 'cuz I've been there, and it literally f---ing sucks) and then proceeded to go to LoneStar for dinner. OMG. Super yummy. We had Texas size Mango Margaritas with an extra shot of some sort of tequila - actually I had 3.5? I think, and Shawn 2.5 - and split a pound of mesquite steak fajitas with all the fixin's - the fixin's being rice, beans, guacamole, sour cream, diced & seasoned tomatoes, lettuce, cheese...just a feast! Fills you right up and it's a really reasonable price as well. (and yes, throughout the entire dinner, that lovely uninvited ex-boyfriend of mine was still there! He was there until we grabbed a cab to go home *roll eyes*).

Anyway, slept over at his place (on the couch) and woke up at 4am for some INSANE non-explained reason. It was the first time I've seen his kitties - he's got the momma & 2 of her kittens - for a couple of months (yeah, I know, I'm a bad friend) and they've gotten SO big! and GORRRRgeous! omg. Gray, fluffy, oh-so-incredibly-soft hair (you could shave them & make furry things out of it) and looking quite regal. I think it's the first time I've actually liked a cat better as a half-grown than a kitten!

Went out for breakfast at a Mom&Pop's...then went to St. Vincent Du Paul's in search of a dresser for me. Ohh, how I love thee, second hand furniture shops! I picked up some books too - because how can one, such as myself, resist?? I think I got 5 or 6 hardcovers for 14$...what a bargain! And I managed to get delivery at halfprice - from 40$ - because the dresser I bought wasn't even 40$. It's being delivered sometime between 8am-1pm tomorrow. YAY, no more living out of a suitcase (literally)!!

It was the first time I've left my kitty alone at night since I've gotten him and he was really not happy when I got home. Meowed at me for ages and ages. I'm teaching him some 'tricks' though - in order to get a treat, he has to be on the cat carrier next to my desk and has to be sitting. He actually does it too - now when you shake the Wiska's bag of treats he immediately jumps onto the carrier and sits. lol. He also gives kisses - I go "Kiss? Kiss?" when he's up near my face/neck and he actually licks your lips/chin. It's really quite cute. really. Now, if I could teach him not to nip or bite and his own name, we'll be all set.....

Oh yeah. For the recond, I rawk at Guitar Hero. ;-)

Busy Work

Because I don't feel like answering 10 questions on whether or not the R.T.A. (Residential Tenancies Act) applies to certain landlord and tenant situations, I thought I'd waste a bit of time & figure out what my name would be if I ever, oh, you know, had to become a stripper, just in case this whole college-studying thing doesn't work out.

However, I am breathing a sigh of relief that my Accounting Class is just basically a rehash of what I studied in Grade 11 - whew! And the teacher is so absurd he's hilarious. I spent the entire class with my eyebrows up near my hairline thinking to myself - "This guy's for SERIOUS?!"

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Esso OC Transpo. (A kitten and the local transit-system).
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Neopolitan Double Chocolate Chip. (Yeah, I can just see how seriously my "home-y G's" would take me now).
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first letter of your first name, hyphen, first 3 letters of your last) S-Fis, yo! gettin' jiggy wit' it, fer shore!
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Yellow Liger.
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Wylie Edmonton. (actually, I like this name....a lot. is that a bad thing?)
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Fissa. (Sounds too much like an actual name, doesn't it? Scary).
7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Silver Sprite. (Sounds like a pair of skates, to be honest).
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) Edward James. (Yep, I'd say that sounds sufficiently hick-ish).
9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Ginger Ale Twix, (but you can call me The Twixster *wink*).
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) Marie Logan. (So guys, if you ever know of someone with that name, assume I pissed off the Mob, okay? Thanks).
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Sophie Saskatoon.
12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Autumn Yellow Rose.
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) Pear Pantsie.
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Popcorn Red Cedar.
15. YOUR ROCK STAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) The Reading Thunderstorm-and-Lightening Tour! Now coming to a concert stage near YOU! (Tickets are 10$ in advance, 15$ at the door, payable to Ticketmaster).

That was fun. Now it's time to check the water pitcher I left in the freezer (cools it faster than leaving it in the fridge, not because I want ice to drink, in case you're wondering) and see if I can actually concentrate on this mini-homework assignment.

Just wondering - what happens when you take a piece of meat (in my case; steak, yum!) out of the freezer to defrost, but when it comes around to dinner you just aren't hungry?

What do you do with the piece of meat?!

addendum: it is, in fact, quite amazing what 'busy work' I will create for myself when I just don't want to do something. This evening, I've ... gone out to Shoppers (that store is quickly becoming a hazard to my debit card), deposited a cheque, cleaned the entire apartment, fiddled with changed my entire blog layout, chatted on MSN, replied to someone in depth in e-mail format, played with my kitten, and, yep, FORGOT that I left my water in the freezer. So now I have really cold water with ice shards, because I am a tool.

addendum2: Avril Lavinge sounds hilarious when she's singing the Italian version of her song "Girlfriend". Just thought I'd throw that out there - don't ask me how I know this.

Number Game

There's a lot swirling around in my head right now, none of it easily expressed and 95% of it depressing, so I'm just going to skip all of that and present to you -

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My week in numbers.

100 - number of cigarettes I've smoked since last Saturday.

I've been to 2 classes in the last two weeks. Out of 18. And really, I have no excuse.

$4,743.35 - bank balance as of last Friday.

$1,950.51 - bank balance as of today. (Oh yes, I can spend. There was never any doubt of that).

I've read Three Books this week.

$1,369.48 is the amount of the cheque waiting for me at school. LOVE YOU, scholarships.

($1,130.52 is the balance left in my student account for next semester).

I've knocked down the pink living room curtains twice.

Over 24 hours spent playing Dance Dance Revolution, both alone & with the roommate.

I've read two blogs from start to finish (fyi: two is one link, blogs is another).

2,822 calories burned and 30 miles jogged playing aforementioned game.

I've listened to 1, 696 1,709 songs since Sunday.

(At least) 4 - the number of times I've woken up to my kitten gently biting my nose and grooming my face. in the middle of the night, no less. but he makes up for it by being simply too cute for words. (I've never had a cat who enjoys cuddling quite so much - he doesn't always fall asleep with me, but everytime I wake up, there's a small black-and-white-fur circle next to me with a paw - or two - tucked into the crook of my arm. Without fail. It's adorable).

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Anyway, that's been my week....as for the other stuff swirling around in my head, all I will say is this - I feel....as if I'm behind (sortof?). In every single aspect of my life. Unsure. Questioning. And full of yearning for something I can never have (again). I thought I was done with all that teenaged angst nonsense!? Arrrgh!

Another thing is I have to end something I've let go on for far too long....I just can't pretend to care anymore. It's sad, and hurtful, and I should have been strong and honest with myself from the beginning, but I wasn't and now I have to deal with it....but, yeah, fyi - I'd rather stick my hand on a burning hot element, while getting my toes chopped off with a garden clipper one by one than have to do this. BLARGH! I hate it. Ugh. :-(

By the way, weird, random question: Does anyone else ever have this feeling? You're staring at the computer screen for days hours on end when suddenly your body seems to be hanging suspended off the floor, like you're on the Grav-a-Tron (only without the whirl-y-ness). And then the feeling spreads to include your computer and desk so basically you are now feeling as if you are located hanging somewhere halfway up the wall, gravity notwithstanding. It feels really weird, but since the Grav-a-Tron was my favourite ride, I enjoy it (slightly odd, I know, but then again, I'm just kindof like that). I just wish I knew what caused it. Any suggestions?

Oh, and I'm sorry for the font sizing issues this post is appearing to have. I've tried to fix it but to no avail - does anyone have any tips for fixing it? it would be greatly appreciated!

Smelling Fresh

I'm in love.

Ever wanted to smell like that gorgeous smell of freshly-mowed grass? Or the scent of an impeding thunderstorm? Or how about a cup of soothing, relaxing green tea? Well, now you can, thanks to this amazing line of scent products which includes colonge, room spray, bubble bath, candle and bath & body spray & lotion, among others. Every single one of them smells exactly like what it describes.

There's over 200 scents to choose from - everything from mixed drinks recipes - "Fuzzy Navel", "Between the Sheets", "Lavender Martini" - to oddities like "Cannabis Flower*", "Dirt", and "Condensed Milk", to ones inspired from nature such as "Rain", "Grass" and "Wet Garden" plus TONS more. And the packaging is really nice - simple, clean-lined and neat.

My nose is currently very happy with me tonight - I picked up a bottle of "Sex On The Beach" and "Ginger Ale" today (you can literally smell the bubbles in the "Ginger Ale" one!) while out shopping. I've been browsing the website for awhile now and Thanking-My-Good-Sense for not having a credit card, because I would be in tons of trouble if I did....

Blame my roommate for starting this addiction. And pray for me if I ever do acquire a credit card. It's not going to be pretty.

[ * Please note that applying before any sort of air travel - especially ones crossing borders - is highly not recommended. ]