Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Seeing green.

I'm talking to my cousin right now and I'm trying my hardest to squash these feelings of complete jealousy.

She's a year younger than I am and I just found out she wants to be married in 2011 - either August or September. And that her dad will probably foot the majority of the bill.

Contrast that to my situation; I want to be married in 2011 too, in October, and Keith and I will be paying for the entire thing ourselves.

She just seems to have it so easy in everything. Her parents are paying for her university, while I have to borrow from the government. Her fiance just sold his house and so they plan on building an entire new house in a year or so.

God, I sound so petty. And don't get me wrong, I AM genuinely happy for her. I AM.
I just wish I wasn't so jealous of how easy she has it. And I wish I wasn't the kind of person TO get jealous about it all.

Sigh. I'm a horrible, selfish, petty person. And jealous. Don't forget about that.


Leah said...

OMG Of course you are pissed off! I would be too. Unfortunately, circumstances are circumstances, and you'll just have to make the best of it.
It may seem like things are perfect and awesome for her, but you never know what is going on behind closed doors. You really just never know.
In the meantime, I think you should concentrate on YOU darlin'! On your fabulous lover, your amazing wedding, and your education that you will never ever discount because you have worked so fucking hard for it.


Heather said...

I think it is a pretty natural reaction you're having so dont feel too bad about it.

I have that exact same feeling whenever one of my sisters accidentally gets pregnant. Happy for them but why do they have to have it so easy when I have to struggle?