Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I have a dream.

Because writing about my wedding is definitely more fun than unpacking, rearranging and cleaning, here it is.

I admit to having a document saved on my computer, titled quite innocently, "notes". This is to deflect anyone's curiosity if they ever ARE snooping around on my machine. (I mean, what piques your curiosity more, something titled "WEDDING PLANS, OMG!!!!" or, just "notes"?)Now, this document didn't materialize until after Keith had put the magical word on the proverbial table of our relationship, but my good golly gosh, they sure as heck flowed out of me once he did! And since my wedding is still a good distance of years away, I have no doubt many details will be changed over that time period, but the basic elements will stay the same.

  • My dad walking me down the aisle is super super important to me.
  • Not seeing Keith that day until I'm walking down said aisle.
  • Photography. I want lots and lots of pictures of the entire day, because I am absolutely obsessed with wedding photography. I want the posed photo session, candid photos, getting ready, ceremony, and everything in between. I'm even thinking of hiring two photographers so I don't miss a single detail.
  • Location would be here in Ottawa since we've been living here (already) a combined 15 years and it really is home to us, especially to me, in a way that my hometown area never really was. There's little appeal for me to marry back home now that my church has been torn down, other than cost.
  • Still undecided whether we want a church wedding with separate reception, or have it completely non religious in the same building, but I'm leaning towards the latter. Mostly because we aren't religious, most Catholic churches require you to do some type of marriage prep, and I can't think of any churches I'd like to be married in here. Of course, if my church back home hadn't been torn down, it would be a no-brainer. (can you tell I'm still a little bitter about the whole thing? No? Must just be me then).
  • We both want a fall wedding. It's the most beautiful time of the year and I want to maximize the colours fully in my wedding; faded yellow, fiery orange, burnt red, coppery brown.
  • I'd like to do nearly all of the planning myself, but hire a "Day-Of" Coordinator, just because I want myself and my wedding party to be fully present and enjoying the day, and not worrying about any details or last minute emergencies that can/will occur.
  • Decor. Super important. I want it kind of simple, yet tasteful. Fairy lights, tea candles, and lots of flowers in fall colours. Boring, but pretty.
  • In a perfect, perfect world, I'd have ALL OF IT here. Just look at it. (seriously, go check it out, its GORGEOUS). And the perfect thing about having that venue is there's tons of options as to where exactly you want your reception. Of course, this one comes with a really hefty price tag *sigh*, so unless we win the lottery, or I want to get married in jeans and a tank, we'll probably be married somewhere else. Where that somewhere else is I have no idea right now, but I think that'll be a fun part to the actual wedding planning.
  • Small wedding party, 3 people on each side. Tea length coppery reddish/brown dresses for my side, traditional suits for the men.
  • For the dress I know what I DON'T want: I don't want white (i want ivory). I don't want sleeveless (i want off the shoulder or capped). And I definitely do not want super poofy with a long train (straight down touching the floor. That's it). I want it to be as easy as possible to move around in and wear for the entire day. After all, it'll probably be the only day I'll wear it. Undecided as of yet if I want a veil, tiara, stuff like that. If I do decide to go that route, it'll be one or the other, not both. Simple hair and makeup; I might even leave my hair down rather than putting it in an up-do.
  • Keith wants to wear a white suit. Or a Don Cherry-style suit. I really hope he's kidding.
  • A DJ, that, after the compulsory first dance songs, will play anything to get people on the dance floor.
  • Being introduced as "Mr & Mrs. W", not "Mr & Mrs K W".
  • I'd like to spend the first-night-as-a-married-couple here. Just becaue it's so incredibly over-the-top that I will never, ever get to do it again.
  • Canon in D for the processional by string quartet. Oooh, fancy.
  • One of my major regrets is that my Grandma didn't live long enough to see me getting married. I will really miss her on that day, and was thinking of incorporating an instrumental of her favourite song (When Irish Eyes Are Smiling) during the ceremony. Maybe during the signing?
  • Flowers will be predominately dark red, orange and yellow roses (my bouquet) and red, yellow and orange gerber daisies (bridesmaid's bouquets).
  • I want the wedding favours to be something functional, or just plain delicious. Like candy apples or a wine stopper in the shape of a heart, engraved with the date and our initials.
  • First dances will be Lay Me Down by Ashley MacIssac for us, Against The Wind by Bob Seger for my dad and I.
  • 100 - 125 guests. I'd like it to be smaller but my family is kinda huge. As for the kids/no kids debate, I want my adult guests to enjoy themselves without worrying about their offspring...but I think that's up to the parents to decide if they want to bring them.
  • Transportation is something I'm willing to compromise on. I want vintage cars, Keith wants anything but.
  • Three tiered cake, with different types of cake in each tier. I don't care if there's not enough cake for everybody, there's a dessert table for that exact reason. NO SMOOSHING. (Keith, you hear me? NO SMOOSHING).
  • I'm not huge on the whole garter thing, but catching the bouquet is something I would definitely consider.
  • I'd like our guests to blow bubbles over us as we exit the ceremony. (Except, how does that work exactly? If you're going down the aisle while your guests are still seated, who's outside to blow the bubbles?)
  • Three or four course meal, nothing too too fancy. Not sure what the other three courses are, but seafood has to be one of them. Dessert bar. Cocktail hour, open bar, 2 bottles of wine per table, circling glasses of champagne.
  • Afternoon ceremony, followed by formal pictures and then evening reception.
  • No receiving line. I'm dealing with divorced, I-only-talk-to-you-for-the-sake-of-the-children parents here. Let's just keep the awkwardness to a minimum. Plus, Keith's mom can't really stand for too long. Instead, we'll try to circle around to everyone during dinner, since we'll be gone for the cocktail hour (taking photos).
  • Centerpieces with a bit of "ooomph" and plenty of awe, but not blocking peoples views of each other.
  • I'm totally stealing this idea from Jess, because I think it's absolutely brilliant - a big basket of flip flops and slippers near the dance floor for the women to change into so they can dance all night and go home comfortable.

What do you think? It's a fairly traditional and budget-conscious wedding, but I've always been of the mindset that the wedding is one day while the marriage is a lifetime. I'd like your opinion though; what works, what doesn't?


Flutterby said...

Thank you for the visit to my blog and the input to my current dilemma. As for kids at your wedding... here is my personal opinion... you say you want the adults to enjoy themselves..? Then you would be doing everyone a favor AND YOURSELF by politely stating an age limit cut off for kids attending, such as 12 and over. Even well meaning parents who think they have perfect kids will not be watching them every second and it takes just one whining toddler to ruin everyone else's fun. This is speaking from 35 years experience of raising younger siblings, my own kids, my sister's kids, and grandkids.

Heather said...

I just wrote a big comment and my internet died as it was saving so I'll comment on the weekend lol.

Kelly said...

Oh wow! You have got a whole lotta stuff covered!

Has K.02 seen this? If I produced a list like this you wouldn't see Michael for dust!


Jess said...

This is an awesome post! It reminds me of the post I did back when we first started planning our wedding, which I assume you've already seen because it mentioned the flip flops.

On another note, I wanted to subscribe to your blog but the feed isn't enabled. Can you fix that?

Jess said...

OK, the feed works now! Thanks!

Chelle said...

Wow. That is some list! Sorry it has apparently been so long since I've checked your blog. I have been a bit absent of late, only on long enough to post and go to bed. Slacker, I know.

If you ask me about weddings, I say elope! We wish we had. It would have cost a hellofa lot less and much a much smaller pain in the ass. But if you must have wedding, I am all for fantastic and cheap. :) That's what I was shooting for... $20k later I realized I had missed the mark big time. lol

Kelly said...

Okay so I know that brides want their "big day" to be perfect but when you ask a friend to be bridesmaid, isn't it about what that person means to you and making them an intimate part of your special time not how they look?


weedze said...

actully I have seen the list and theres a few tweekings I would want changed or a comprimise on.

Heather said...

Ok here we go again. *sigh* These are just my thoughts/ideas so please take what you want from it and ignore anything I say that sounds annoying/stupid/useless ok lol?

-there are just some traditions I totally agree you should stick to...like your dad walking you up the aisle (for daddys girls like you and me this is a MUST...I even asked my dad if he could wheel me down the aisle if he wasnt well enough to walk yet lol)

-I like the idea of lots of photographers but have you looked into wedding photography prices? I am not sure about there, but our wedding photographer cost like $2250 or something outrageous and I am sure a good one costs a lot there too. You could have people who will be around you fill in the gaps (like best man and bridesmaids with digital cameras) plus disposable cameras on the tables give a different perspective of the wedding.

-As for kids at the wedding, we allowed people to bring children to the service (it was outside in a garden that had a church on the grounds for if it rained) but asked them to get babysitters for the reception. We did bend that rule and let a few older kids (they were about seven) come to the reception coz they knew how to behave themselves. It is easier for people to organise a babysitter just for the evening than an entire day AND evening.

-I cant see much of a point to the 'day of' coordinator. You're super organised with stuff and there are very few little things your mum and friends couldnt fix if you're organised for the most part. Another thing I think is important to have the mind set of 'on the actual day, I wont let little things that go wrong upset me...water off a ducks back' and it worked well when we realised we forgot a table cloth for the licence signing table. Meh lol.

-Is three on either side small? Really lol?

-Have an idea of what you do want but keep in mind that people who sell wedding dresses do it all day every day and know whats gonna suit your figure. I totally refused strapless but they made me try on some and they looked really pretty!

-It's so funny how little wording tweaks make the service. Mrs Keith Weeds makes it sound to archaic and like you are his property lol. My funny thing was how they talked about dead people, I just didnt want "dead people" mentioned so I had "those who cannot be with us here today" instead. I walked down the aisle to mums favourite music but didnt tell anyone until the reception speeches, so that it was my private moment with her and dad walking me up the aisle but after it was over I wanted them to know why I chose that music. Last year I went to a wedding in NZ where one of my girlfriends had no mention anywhere of her adored brother who had died a year before. Because they didnt mention it, it was really awkward for us guests coz we knew she was wanting to share the day with him but didnt say anything. Afterwards she said they had a candle on the signing table that they lit for him but we didnt know that it it was kind of an awkward talking/avoiding talking about point for us all though the evening. I dont know if it is that awkwardness or how well everyone accepted the way I did it but I think it is better to mention them somehow especially if guests know you are missing that person on that day? Am I making sense lol?

-I totally hate fruit cake and though it is traditional, I didnt want it on my cake so I had a two tiered cake (banana and chocolate) and my lovely cake maker made a fuit cake iced the same but off in the kitchen. That way guests still got three flavours yet I didnt have to see yucky fruit cake lol. Incidentally, three layers was MOUNTAINS of cake for my 80 guest, and about 50 of us ate it again the next day so you should have enough cake. Wedding cake doesnt come out in big slabs usually.

-Why cant people blow bubbles from where they are when you walk out the aisle? The ones closest to you will reach you! You can even get cute wedding themed bubbles these days.

I have so much more to say but well...I've written a long enough comment and you can always rack my brains on MSN instead. Incidentally your name never came up as a request and you arent blocked so perhaps if you give me the address you want me to add I can try from my end?