#30daysofme - #6

Day 6 was hard for me; I don't have a favourite superhero in the traditional sense, so at first I was really stumped to come up with an answer.



Then it hit me: Do mythological gods count as superheros? I vote yes.


When I was a little kid, we had this amazing illustrated book on Norse mythology. Odin. Loki. Freya. Thor. I learned about them before I learned about their Roman & Greek counterparts - and it's just so much more interesting then the same old Jupiter/Zeus/Hera/Juno dynamic found in the Mediterranean.


Nordic culture believed that the world was made up of nine worlds, all connected by an immense ash tree called the Yggdrasil. They built a bridge between Asgard and the Earth called Bifrost, and they ride it daily. It appears in our world as a rainbow. There are dragons, a giant wolf, and a female Hel.


Simply put, they are awesome bedtime stories.

#30daysofme - #5

A picture of somewhere you’ve been to:

The Globe Theatre in London, England.

First time travelling overseas solo. Got the money for the trip from an unexpected source before Reading Week in 2007 and within 2 days I was on a plane to London.

I'd never done anything like that before & I doubt I will ever be able to do it again. Literally, a once in a lifetime opportunity to just book a plane ticket and go.

I can't wait to go back with Keith and experience it with him.

#30daysofme - #4

A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Hands down, that would be smoking.

Blech.

#30daysofme - #3

You thought I abandoned this challenge 2 days in, didn't you?

Fear not. I only took the weekend off. Fooled ya!

Day 3 is a picture of you and your friends.

My computer is currently dead - and of course I don't have an external harddrive. So I just lost all my pictures, files, etc, from the last 2 and a half years. It's heartbreaking, in a first world problem kind of way. Truly.

I had to steal this from Shawn's facebook - taken in 2006. I'm 19, Tat is 20, and Shawn is 21.

Mostly I'm struck by how young we look. We're BABIES!

There are absolutely no words how much these two people mean to me. When I think of how long we've been friends - of how much we've gone through - both collectively and as individuals, it's just mind boggling.

Statistics would tell you that we probably shouldn't still be friends. I know I'm not friends with 98% of the people I met while being a homeless crackhead. And that's probably for the best, ya know?

But these two are unshakeable. We've overcome the odds - you know that once you're addicted to drugs, you have 3 options? Clean, jail, and dead. Life is kind of bleak until you're clean.

But we did it. We were high-school drop-outs, homeless, addicted to drugs, you name it, we were it. And now? Tat is currently finishing her practical nursing diploma with plans to continue next fall for her Bachelor of Nursing. She's also looking into joining the Armed Forces under their ROTP. She has an 8 year old daughter, with whom she shares custody with her father.

Shawn just finished his diploma in social service worker last spring, and has plans to continue with his Bachelor of Social Work at Carleton next fall.

We all left home prematurely - Tat because she was placed in a group home at the age of 15, Shawn because his mom rejected the fact that he's gay, and of course you know my story.

It's been a really long road with its share of potholes on our respective journeys to where we are today, but so far we're making it. I couldn't be prouder to call them my friends. So much love.

#30daysofme - #2

Day 2 is apparently imploring me to share the meaning behind my blog name.

I really wish I could say my blog name means something particularly witty.

It doesn't, by the way.

I suck at coming up with names and titles. I see all these cleverly worded blog titles and feel intense jealousy that they have such a cool name. Especially the infertility blogs? My god, those are some very nicely named blogs. Me = jealous.

Think of this way - those blogs are dressed in clothes that are designed by Coco Chanel, Christian Dior, Giorgio Armani.

Mine gets Sally Ann cast-offs, and if it's been really good, it might get the odd Old Navy piece. On sale.

Basically, it goes like this. I love the look of the word Simplicity. And I strive to live my life as drama free as possible, especially after the last few years, where drama was a daily occurrence.

It used to be "Her Simplicity" but when I started getting serious with Keith, I found myself blogging about both of our lives; it wasn't just about me anymore. It really was about Our Simplicity as a couple - plus, to be frank, his ex was reading. I got squicked out, so I had to facilitate a name change.

So that's the story. Doesn't mean the name still doesn't suck though.

#30daysofme - #1

I've decided to take part in #30daysofme, so for the next 30 days you'll learn more than you ever really wanted to know about yours truly. If you're wondering who you need to go wag a finger at, you totally have Kelly to blame for this.

Day one is a recent picture of yourself, followed by the statement of 15 "interesting" (I can only hope interesting is a subjective term) facts about yourself. Let the nazel-gazing begin, shall we?

1. Recent Picture:

me, taken 3 weeks ago @ 1 month out.

2. Fifteen "interesting" (or not so interesting) facts about myself:

1. Country is the only commercial genre of music I can listen to without wanting to rip my ears off after twenty minutes.

2. I can type up to over 80 wpm at 98% accuracy. I sporadically practice this skill.

3. I feel really sick right now & it's making it hard to concentrate.

4. I start school tomorrow! It seems kind of silly because I only have one class on Thursdays & then I'm off Fridays, so really, I start on Monday.

5. Fall is my favourite season. I wish it lasted longer.

6. I've been living in Ontario for 10 years. I've never lived anywhere longer.

7. I don't have many close friends but the ones I do have are like my family.

8. I'm pretty self-absorbed. NO REALLY?

9. A lot of the time I don't talk about subjects on my blog because I realize my views might be unpopular and/or everyone is entitled to their own opinion so what does it matter?

10. I will say this, though: people who bash the meat industry & the farmers involved - with no actual knowledge (thinking they know everything there is to know because they read a fucking book, for example) - well, those people piss me off. A LOT.

11. I get angry when I think about how (some) Americans are completely ignorant of our culture/holidays/whatever. And NO, we are NOT "a laid-back version of the US". We are something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

12. That Terry Jones guy is nuts. Can we arrange for him to be shipped off to Iraq? Please? Like, tomorrow? Just grab him, fly him over there, then drop him off and walk away. Please please please.

13. Apparently I'm also pretty angry and vindictive. Wow.

14. I'm a traditionalist in the sense that I need a wedding band on my finger before having kids. I don't know why this is.

15. Since losing 55 pounds I can now fold my belly in half. It's cool and gross at the same time.

New

Taken 5 weeks ago, pre-surgery.

Taken Friday, with glasses.

Taken Friday, without

(this is important because I'm thinking of getting contacts

this year. What do you think? Better with, or without?)

New tattoo! On my right wrist.

Got it last night. Isn't it purty?

Thoughts on guilt & milestones times two

Can I just say this summer has lasted forever? I wrote my final exams in April. I will be more than happy to go back to school come September, if for nothing else than to have something other to talk about than my weight.

Speaking of the subject: My weight starts with a new number now (that happened Tuesday). And today, I hit fifty pounds lost (fifty one, actually).

Fifty one pounds in a month. Fifty one pounds in a month. That's insane.

When I see that number, yes it's a great deal of weight to lose. For most people. For me? It's just one quarter of what I have to lose. I feel like I don't deserve it, because it's pretty easy at this point. I feel no temptation for junk or sweets. I don't have to "struggle" with food choices or portion sizes, because my pouch determines that for me.

I don't know what exactly my point is, or if I have one, it's just - I guess I'm used to feeling guilty. Guilty over being fat. Guilty over not being able to make good food choices; guilty for having to struggle all the time. Now I feel guilty because I don't have to do that anymore. I've internalized the mantra that weight loss is hard.

And while I will probably say it is at various points in this journey - right now, I want to remember that it wasn't, not especially. And that it's okay for it not to be.

Why we have (girl)friends

Me: "I tried sausage for breakfast the other day (even though I'm not supposed to) and oh man, it did not go well."

"Oh really? How bad?"

"I didn't even want to go shopping afterwards, thats how bad I felt."

"oh my god thats AWFUL!!"

This just in!

Even though I haven't lost any pounds since last time,

MY SIZE 21 JEANS FIT!!!

Excuse me while I dance my (much smaller) bootay around !! YIPPEEEE!!!

Tough week

Last week was a really tough one.

The scale is not moving. At all. It hasn't moved at all this week - in fact, right now it is taunting me with a two pound gain.

One night I had gas pain so severe I actually googled the symptoms of a bowel obstruction to check. I eat things too fast sometimes, and I get sick - nausea and my new stomach hurts. I haven't actually puked anything up yet but dry heaves are just as bad. The no-drinking rule (which came into effect this week) is a killer. I am so tired of tuna, and wish I could just bite into a big, juicy hamburger with fresh tomato and lettuce.

After years of not listening to my body and paying attention to what and when I eat, I have to take my time eating and pause between bites for the signals that I've had enough. I have to keep an eye on the time so I know when to eat and when to start and stop drinking. A lot of times I can't even finish what I started eating, and it is definitely a learning curve to leave food behind, to be okay with that. I can't just say "one more bite" - because that one more bite will make me sick.

I'm scared that my scale isn't right, and when I go to the doctors office on Wednesday I won't have lost what I think I have. I have my 3 week appointment down in Utica on Friday, and again, am so scared that the scale won't reflect what my scale at home does. I'm scared I'll just sit at this weight forever, even though I know, rationally, that's that's not possible. I am so fearful I won't lose all the weight I want/need to.

I'm still wearing the same clothes as I did before surgery - I tried on my size 21 jeans the other day and still couldn't do them up. That was discouraging, and just feeds the whole I'm-never-going-to-lose-again cycle of fears and anxiety.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I just didn't think it would be this hard.

reward

I really want this :

Sterling Silver Two for Pearl Necklace
(from sweetberrybird)

I have promised myself I'll buy it once I hit 50 pounds lost - and right now I only have 17 pounds to go.

Have been unsuccessful in my attempts to convince Keith, but he doesn't really need to know about it, does he?

I thought not.

BREAKING NEWS!

I'm off lovenox!!! No more shots in the belly! YAY!!

I'd like to thank the guy who made it all possible :

Thanks Mumbles! You were stellar! Definitely recommend you if I ever need to shoot myself up in the future!

x0x, smooch smooch.

1 week post-op

It's been a week since surgery. That went by super fast, holy shiz.

I've decided to officially record my weight every Tuesday and every Saturday for now. Tuesday is obvious but Saturday is when I change my post-op diet for the next 7 weeks.

This week I'm on full liquids. Water, Crystal Light, sugar free jello & popsicles, low sodium broth, etc. Also supposed to have 4oz of protein shake 3 times a day. The next three weeks are all about my pouch and intestines healing, so I'm to take small sips and take my time with everything. I'm not hungry, and I'm not full.

I try to get in 2000mL of liquid a day. It's super hard when you have to sip everything, but I'm trying.

I'm also on omeprazole, fragmin/lovenox (only for the next 2 days!), and 2 multi-vitamins daily. I chop those in half because, frig, they're huge. Omeprazole is a stomach acid reducer and lovenox is a daily injection blood thinner that Keith gets to inject in my belly while cackling evilly. Not fun!

And, according to today's weight, I am down a total of 26 pounds. Six of that was lost pre-op, but the rest? Yeah, that was lost this week. Boo-ya, baby. Let the crazy commence!

friday5.1

Figures.

The one fridayfive I remember on time & decide to do has to do with food....but I'm not even remotely hungry so this doesn't bother me at all.

1. Besides plain, what’s your favorite way to eat an apple?
with cheese. or in a pie. apple pie is my favourite dessert ev-ar.

2. Besides plain, what’s your favorite way to eat berries?
in yoghurt.

3. Besides plain, what’s your favorite way to eat a banana?
baked in a banana chocolate chip pancake or bread.

4. Besides plain, what’s your favorite way to eat a peach?
don't eat peaches.

5. Besides plain, what’s your favorite way to eat a pineapple?
fruit salad. or on a pizza.

other side

Well it looks like my communications manager totally failed on the blog front! Sorry about that.

I'm obviously okay. Surgery was 10:15 on Tuesday, took an hour an a half, and was in my room by 3.

Spent the first day more asleep than awake, as per expected. Was in lots of pain as well.

I'm back to "normal" now - dry heaved once, blood pressure normal, farting like crazy, tolerating all meds and sipping appropriately (1oz every 15 min), up walking, blah blah. Haven't taken anything for gas or pain since very early yesterday morning. Haven't needed to, thank god.

I expect to be discharged around noon tomorrow, and we've decided to stay an extra day and go back home on Saturday. I can't wait - I miss my house, my bed, my babies.

Surgery day!

I'm writing this as a scheduled post.

I have to be at the hospital today at 6:15 and my surgery will be any time between then and 10:15. I'll spend an hour or two in recovery and then be moved up to my room.

I'll have Keith update you throughout the day by updating this post so check back often.

Love you bunches,
x0x Sarah.

Improvement

Remember when I asked about redecorating help?

And then proceeded to show you these horrifying pictures of what exactly I needed redecorated?

I'm happy to report that both those areas now look like this:

Of course, Keith doesn't know I've packed away his precious army figurines yet ....

Whew!

I am VERY happy to report that the 3410$ OSAP debt has officially been fully paid off!!

What a relief!

My dad gave me 500$, mom gave me $800 and then lent me the remaining $2,000 (and I covered 110$ myself).

I will be in debt for the next year paying my mom back, and this means I most definitely have to get a job over the school year (something I had been hoping to avoid to focus solely on school), but I'm okay with that.

Things could be a lot worse - I could have not been able to go at all. Eeek!

Why WLS?

I'm 23. I've been this way for at least 10 years; nearly half my life. And lately all I seem to be doing is getting bigger.

I can't excerise because I can't breathe properly anymore. Climbing a flight of stairs is next to impossible & the words "brisk walk" send shivers down my spine. I'm sick of starving myself to lose a pound, only to gain it back the next second. The will power isn't there. I slip because I can. I sneak because I can. I need something where I can't slip, I can't cheat. I have to be true to myself.

I want kids. Someday. And I know I will never get the weight off long enough to get there. This is vanity, but I really don't want to be a fat bride. I don't want to hate the photos of what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I've noticed there are no pictures of me from the last 2 years - I don't want any pictures taken of me. I never look in a full length mirror. My body? What body? I can only look at myself from the shoulders up.

If I stay like this, I know my chances of getting a job once I graduate from University are pretty slim when I'm like this. I feel like everyone just looks at me and doesn't realize how great of a person I am because the fat is standing in the way. I feel judged when I eat in public. The list just goes on & on.

Not to mention - my MIL was a large woman. She passed away this past October from a heart attack. She was 64 - and I don't want that to happen to me, ever. I miss her a lot and I wonder now if it needed to happen - I doubt she knew OHIP would pay for WLS. I didn't know until this March, but I had been thinking of it for a couple of years; just knew it would be a really long time before I could afford it.

These are my reasons for doing this. Two weeks to go!

AwesomeSauce

Isn't this guy amazing??! He's competing this season on So You Think You Can Dance ... and guess what his style is?

He's a principal ballet dancer. For serious! And he just KILLS this routine. I can't stop watching!

This routine almost - but not quite - takes the top spot for my most favourite routine ever, which was on So You Think You Can Dance Canada last season - Tara-Jean (who ended up winning) and Everett's house routine.

143

Happy Canada Day!

Keith & I plan on doing a whole bunch of nothing.

What are your plans?

PS: Today also marks the 2 year anniversary of Keith & I living together. I think I got a keeper!

FML

I really hate life sometimes.

First, I worked so hard over the last year to bring my average up to be admitted to Carleton.

Ended up only being a 2.85.
(Fyi: GPA was wrong, 2.85 is the readjusted average)

Was denied.

Then, wrote a pretty kick ass letter advocating why I should be admitted.

That worked.

The next logical step was to apply for OSAP.

I got a letter. Saying I owed them 3410$ because of ...well, I'm not quite sure. And any attempts to reach OSAP over the last few days have resulted in being on hold for hours or else a straight out busy signal.

HOW the HELL am I going to come up with that kind of money by September? When I'm not working? If I can't get finances, I can't go.

I've never wanted Conan O'Brien to follow me on twitter more than I do right now.

Heart

I have a confession to make: I take off my engagement ring to do dishes.

I know I know, I broke the #1 rule of engaged chicks: NEVER TAKE THE RING OFF(!!!).

Sometimes it's days before I remember to put it back on....but sometimes? Keith finds it, brings it to me and puts it on my finger.

And OH. That feeling when he does?

It's like I said yes all over again.

All edumacated!

Last night was my graduation ceremony. I'm officially a college graduate!


Unfortunately, all the pictures that Keith took during the ceremony turned out super blurry. I honestly look like I have two heads mashed together in one. Am so disappointed....and need a better camera, obviously.

But! It was a cute ceremony and I don't regret going. My mom, sister, her boyfriend, Harry & Keith all came with me and supported me...walking that stage is NERVE-WRACKING. Omg.

but OH! Best part - as people were walking across the stage a bunch of people got huge woops and cheers and some people didn't (we were supposed to hold all applause til the end). And you know, you want to be in the former category, because how lame is that?

AND I WAS. I've NEVER had that happen before! A bunch of people in the audience cheered and Becky's boyfriend let out a big loud "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SARAH!" Made my night!

This morning Mom & I are going out to Cora's for breakfast and then going to Carleton to meet with the student disability centre as well as dropping off my OSAP documentation. Onward to the next challenge in life!

Ex-boyfriend

Do you remember my ex-boyfriend from high school? The one that I dated for 7 months in Grade 10, went to prom with, found out later that he had a ring in his pocket but never asked? That one?

Found out on Monday he actually got married about a year ago.

We were surprisingly innocent in our dating. He was no pre-martial sex, and I had lost the v-card before him but was totally iffy on the whole doing-it-again thing. Besides, I was carrying around a whole bunch of guilt from that encounter, because hey, I'm Catholic, and its a little something we're known for.

So we groped and kissed, and that was pretty much it. But I still got to get acquainted with his - ahem - you know.

And I would say "I love you" and mean it and talk about our future and everything, but in the back of my mind would think : I hope we never get married BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR TINY PENIS for the rest of my life!

(Yes, I was terribly shallow when I was 16).

(And terribly practical).

And while I wish them all the best and everything - still.

TINY PENIS.

Will always be.

Dear Mom;

It's your birthday today. The first birthday you won't turn a year older.

We all miss you. A lot. We miss your voice, your caring compassion, your frequent laugh. We miss the funny faces you'd pull, your joy for life, your joy for your family, for us. I think of you daily, still, most often just before falling into sleep.

I hope you're doing okay, whenever you are. I like to think of you as being in each tree leaf, each blade of grass, every raindrop; in the very molecules of air we breathe.

That way, whenever I take a breath, you're right there with me. Forever and for always.

x0x,
Sarah

Love you forever.

She's my baby sister. I protect her, worry about her, love her fiercely and give her advice if she needs it (and sometimes when she doesn't!).

She is so beautiful it makes your heart ache, not just physical beauty, but everything she encompasses within her being.

She's fantastically quirky - she used to believe she could talk to bees and run around on her hands and knees pretending to be a horse (neighs included!). She has a natural affinity for animals; she plans on becoming vet assistant with a grooming business on the side. In grade 9 she took up riding for awhile and I've always been in awe of her natural ability and ease in that pursuit. In grade 10 she took up competitive swimming and excelled in it; she made it to WOSSA & Regionals. She spent a year in Brazil on Rotary Exchange for grade 11 and is still fluent in Portuguese. She's funny, smart, caring, sporty, a goofball, fun-loving, and nothing short of amazing. She's done so much and she's only turning 21.

Growing up, it was just her and me for long stretches. Our older brother is 9 years older than I am, and he moved out at 17. From the time she was 6, it's just been me and her. We moved a lot when we were younger - and then when my parents split up we got to spend 6 weeks of the summer, just her and I, with my dad.

We had the worst case of sibling rivalry, way beyond what could be considered normal. We both competed for our mom's attention, while perceiving the other as the winner. I thought it damaged us beyond fixing, but I am so blessed to have her in my life now, living in the same city as I. It's afforded us the opportunity to build a relationship as adults, something I recognize as a rare opportunity to be granted a second chance.

When she moved down here, I was reminded, once again - that no matter what happens in life, your family is yours. And your history together is special and unique, and whatever happens and whomever you decide to share your life with, nothing can change that. We will always be sisters, and now I hope we shall always be friends.

Anastasis

Remember when I was bemoaning the fact that everything was just so far away, it'll never happen, waaaaaaaaaah?

Like all things on a timeline - it simultaneously feels like it passed by in a blink of an eye while also seemingly took forever.

A really long blink of an eye, in other words. In super slo-mo, if you will. But I like the way Amber over at Girl with the Red Hair looks at it - it seems SO CLOSE when you look at it this way:

Next week: Thursday is my college graduation ceremony. Irrationally I am worried about tripping as I walk across the stage. I'm not even wearing heels.

Next month: Is finally - FINALLY - my surgery. It's compounded by the fact that I actually start on a high protein, low calorie meal replacement June 26th to shrink my liver before surgery, and June 22, 25 & 29 I have doctors appointments - the 25th is a 4 hour long class on the lifestyle I'll have to maintain after surgery, and I also have to fit in an EKG & bloodwork within those two weeks. Yikes! That's a ton of doctors appointments, yo.

Next year: As you already know, I got into Carleton!! (Still can't say that without squeeing, sorry). I also received an entrance bursary to be put towards my tuition - less debt at this point is always a good thing. I'm sure it'll be filled with amazing opportunities - not to mention I'll be adjusting to life after surgery and losing weight rapidly each month. My FYSM group is going to think I'm sick or something. Oh well. I can't decide on a minor - and in my typical fashion I want to overload myself as much as possible. Double major with a mention francais AND co-op option? WHY YES, DON'T MIND IF I DO. Eeeek.

So what are you looking forward to - next week, next month & over the coming year?

Little sis all growned up!

We celebrated my sisters' birthday a few days early yesterday. Her wish was to take both puppies to Conroy Pit & then have KFC and DQ ice cream cake for a late lunch afterwards. (Her birthday is this Saturday, she turns 21!).

So we granted her request:

Happy Birthday sis!

Wishing you nothing but the best for the year to come!

Drumroll ....

Ahem!

I GOT INTO CARLETON!!!

After hearing that I was denied, I submitted a letter of appeal - pointing out that before my learning disability was diagnosed, I either failed or got D's and C's. After? A's and B's.

IT EFFING WORKED! Carleton has offered me a spot in the BA General Law program for fall 2010! I am beyond excited right now.

A few caveats: I can apply for Honours once I have successfully completed courses at Carleton with Honours standing (whatever that means, I'm sure I'll figure it out), I do not qualify for transfer credits (I didn't expect to), and I have to register with the disability center on campus (expected that).

Now please excuse me while I go jump and dance around my apartment like a maniac. YAY!!!

Love, me.

Dear tenants in the apartment slightly up and across the hall:

The hallway is not a playground. Please send your children to the actual playground provided right next to our apartment building.

Much appreciated;
Your neighbours.

Dear Molly;

YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD PUPPY!!! You make your mommy and daddy so incredibly proud when we go to the off-leash dog park and you stick close and listen. I am so grateful that you play nicely with the other dogs and come when called. I love how you grin when you see Grandpa's car & sit so nicely. Grandpa appreciates the walk and the company too. Thanks pretty girl. You rock.

Love,
Momma.

Dear humidity:

You suck. Stop it.

Someone who hates you immensely;
Sarah

Sex & The City 2: Yams are high in natural estrogen.

Sex and the City was good.

Not great. Just, good. A solid B to B+.

Cons:
- The "opulence" factor was just way too over the top. For instance, each girl got her own car while in Abu Dhabi, and I actually winced and thought "omg, environment."
- Miranda didn't get her own storyline, which is a shame, because she's my favourite. I realize she was more of a supporting character to Charlotte's struggles, but still. It would have been nice to see.
-The scene at the end with the Abu Dhabi girls was just weird and was totally unnecessary. And I'm sorry, but I can't suspend belief that much to accept that women who were raised with strict religious beliefs about the reasons behind wearing hijabs & jilbab's would just strip them off to show some random Western women their clothes. I'm sure the Muslim community is going to have some concerns about that.
-Awkward pauses between the girls, and some awkward dialogue.
-Her crown in the wedding scenes was flat out awful, and SJP is really showing her age.

Pros:
-Mr. Big actually GREW UP. I am not a big fan of the guy. I always thought Carrie deserved better than some selfish, egocentric ass, but it was really nice to see him accepting her (FINALLY) and all her quirks and them together, being happy.
-Some really, really REALLY good one liners. Especially Charlotte - the cocktail scene was PRICELESS.
-Kim Cattrall was comedy gold. She really carried the movie. Her portrayal of a 52 year old woman going through menopause (unwillingly!) was awesome.
-The fashion, of course.
-Liza Minnelli & the whole wedding part. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Overall, I would say they did a really good job - but I think they've reached the end of the story. Any other movies would be overkill. I'm seeing it again on Tuesday with another girlfriend, and I would definitely buy the DVD to re-watch.

If you've seen it, what are your thoughts on it? If you plan on seeing it, does my review change your mind or are you going to see it just because its Sex & The City?

so COOL!!

My friend won 2 tickets to see Sex & The City 2 tonight and invited ME!!



That means I get to see it a full day before the general population - am STOKED.


Gotta run!

over protective?

My sister is stressing me out. She met this guy 2 months ago and has been dating him for less than a month - 2-3 weeks or so.


Except her idea of "date" is to move her dog & cat in there and spend every.single.waking.moment of the day at his place with him. That's not dating. That's something else entirely. It creeps me out.


And this is her MO on relationships. She's had two that have both evolved into living together situations and lasted - one for 2 years & one for 5-6 months.


She's twenty. True, she turns 21 next month, but still. She's a BABY. Why can't she be independent? WHAT is she so afraid of?


Keith & Harry tell me I can't 'play mother' all the time and to just relax. She's my baby sister! I am SO scared she's going to mess up somewhere and then be stuck, major big time.


There is just so much wrong with this situation that I'm finding it hard to put what I feel into words. It's skeevy. Totally skeevy. And I know she's technically an adult and can make her own decisions and yadda yadda, but SHE IS MY SISTER, goddamn it. I don't want her getting hurt, or trapped, or limiting herself because of some stupid guy.


I guess what I need is for someone to hold my hand and please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way. Could you, if its not too much trouble?

two-four

"The 24 of May is the Queen's Birthday.

If we don't get a holiday, we'll all run away!!"

stupid commericals

1) When Bounty claims their 'select-a-size' sheets are environmentally friendly. Are there actually people that stupid? Surely, people with half a brain realize that buying actual cloth dishrags and, I don't know, washing them, is actually environmentally friendly? Jeesh. Thanks bounty, for insulting my intelligence - I think I shall buy another brand.

2) The Lysol "no-touch soap dispenser" - WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT AFTER YOU TOUCH THE SOAP?
Think about it.

crushed

Hate having to say this next sentence.

I didn't get into Carleton.

My GPA ended up being only a 2.80.

I'll revisit University in a year or so. Or maybe if we can afford it this year (since now I have to earnestly look for a job come August), I'll do some part-time study.

Right now, though, I'm going to go lay in bed and mope at how much of a failure I am.

big girl now

I had a job interview today.

me? job interview? say again?

I know, right?

I have had a few offers of interviews since finishing school. I would say about 5 or 6 - not many, but a steady amount. Of course, as soon as I disclose the information that I need time off this summer to the tune of up to 4 weeks, pretty much all the employers back off.

Which, of course, I totally understand. But this firm said it wasn't really a deal-breaker for them! I was as flabbergasted as you are, I'm sure. Of course, they were quick to point out that the time off would be unpaid - not a biggie because I assumed as such. I also said that after the first 2 weeks, I could be super flexible in how I work - whether that be from home, few days a week, etc.

It seems like a really jam-packed job. It's 40 hours a week in a small family law firm (2 lawyers, 1 assistant) which deals mainly in child custody cases and Children's Aid. As a result, they're in court a lot, so there's lots of filing and tight deadlines to adhere to. Yikes!

I can never tell how an interview is going. Does anyone know how to tell? In any case, I should find out by the beginning of June. Although honestly, I'm not stressing over it at all, which is a nice change.

Um, no. Just, no.

Yesterday Keith & I were laying in bed after finishing a bowl of frozen yogurt.

He turns to me, "Okay! Face down ass up!"

He adds, "That's my foreplay for the day."

"Oh sweetie. Let me show you how well that's going to work."

I turned over and immediately started to snore.

Stasis

I'm in the biggest holding pattern right now.

It'll take Carleton 4-6 weeks to make a decision.
My actual grad date (which I haven't yet decided to go to) is about 5 weeks away.
I'm not looking for employment, because there is absolutely no point. Nobody will hire someone who needs to take up to a month off less than 3 months after they're hired.
Surgery is just over 8 weeks away.
The bloodwork & the start of the educational classes are 4 weeks away.

I have NEVER wanted time to pass more quickly than I do right now.

#1 Rule

While my surgery date is still a bit away (2 months 2 weeks 2 days!!), I'm trying to incorporate certain habits that I'll have to do 100% post-op. One of the hardest things I'm doing is incorporating the no drinking rule : for 30 minutes before a meal and at least 45 minutes after, I am not allowed to drink any liquids. If I do, I totally override what my pouch is supposed to do - which is to remain full long enough so that the nerve endings in that part of the stomach have a chance to send repeated signals to the brain that it's full.

See this impressive video for why this is so incredibly important for WLS patients to not drink before, during, or after meals:



I know for myself it's going to take a lot of mental awareness to get myself used to not drinking with my meals and I might have to forgo the pepper for awhile, but oh man, it's so worth it after watching this!

Finished!

I wrote my last final exam for my diploma today.

I will now pause to let the enormity of that sink in.

{ Pause. }

When I started my program in the fall of 2006, I thought it would be easy. 2 years, 4 semesters, badda bing badda boom, let's go.

The last four years have been life-changing. I failed out of college. I got back in. I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I moved 5 times. I met Keith. I got engaged. I said goodbye to two friends I never thought I would have to. I lost a grandmother and a mother-in-law. I raised my GPA from something like a 1.2 to meet the cut-off for Carleton, which is 3.0. And now I'm looking at WLS and all the major lifestyle changes that comes with it.

In a way, I'm kind of glad it took me 4 years to finish - I am a completely different person than that 19 year old who started and then promptly crashed & burned. I know I can fail, and I know I can pick myself up and succeed. I've learned that with great joy also comes great heartache. I've learned that life goes on after death, and it's okay to miss someone so fiercely it physically hurts, even months later.

Most of all, I've learned that setting a major goal and working hard to achieve it feels absolutely amazing when you finally do.

Open letter

I honestly do not know what to say to you at this point. It has become very apparent to me that you have a bias against obese people and are full of judgment while thinking that the only tool to managing weight loss is to put down the fork.

It has also become very apparent that you have done absolutely no research on the subject of morbid obesity, and the ineffectiveness of the method you believe works for everyone. It is painfully obvious you also have done no research on weight loss surgery - and you are not open to learning about it. Your ignorance is mind boggling.

You have brought up my weight literally every time you speak to me for the majority of my adolescence and early adult years; causing significant psychological damage and then wonder why I 'fly into a rage' whenever it is mentioned. It is an heart shattering thing to realize that you would love me more if I just lost the weight.

You seem to be under the impression that this decision to have surgery was decided very quickly; you couldn't be more wrong. I have been thinking of it for years; I just didn't know I could afford it.

And, once again, I find it mind blowing that you can't even be bothered to do your research on it (even as something as simple and fundamental as what they ACTUALLY DO).

Perhaps its better that we no longer talk for the next 18 months or so. I don't need your negativity. I don't need you telling me what I need to do for my health and life. You actually have NO IDEA what I go through on a daily basis, and I do not need such a negative and ignorant person in my life at this point.

From now on I will not be answering your phone calls, or your emails, unless it is an emergency. I have tried, and now I cannot try anymore.

I'm sorry.

Although I have a feeling not as sorry as you'll be.

Have a date!

I just got back from the behaviourist appointment - it went really well, if I do say so myself!

Twenty minutes to half an hour after getting home, the clinic in Utica emailed me with a surgery date.....

July 20, 2010.

I do have to complete those darn pesky Educational classes before surgery, with the last one being July 14. July 14 - July 20 = less than a week. Pretty damn good, really!

So I have to be in Utica in July 19 for 2 appointments, surgery the next day, in hospital until the day of the 22nd, and then a check in their office on the 23rd, and then home.

Am. SO. effing. excited. Hurry up July!

Fingers crossed

Finally found out what the additional testing was - Dr wants me to see a behaviourist at the WMC.

So I have an appointment for tomorrow morning at 9:45. I have no idea what the appointment will entail, so I'm a little nervous. It helps that it's with the behaviourist that did the majority of our sessions while I was doing that crazy Opti-Fast diet, and she's amazing.

Another thing I asked about was getting a surgery date that was before the Educational Classes (as mandated by the Ministry) are started or finished - and was told that I had to complete them before surgery - which puts it anytime after July 14th. I do have a feeling that that requirement could be bent though from my initial appointment with the doctor here - she alluded to the fact that this might happen. So I'm hopeful.

Utica: Visit #1.

So yesterday we made the trek down to Utica, and I can now say I've officially been to four countries (first time in the States).

Um, some HATES: Hill Island Bridge, like, woah way too high x 2. And the highways definitely take some getting used to. (Seriously, I have no idea how anyone knows what they're doing, ever).

It was a really, really long day. We left our place at 2am, and once we got gas and coffee it was more like quarter to three, and then we took the long way. I've discovered I hate night driving on the 401, even from the back seat. My jaw is still sore from the massive clenching I did. (Although I do have some cause for concern, since FIL nearly got into at least four accidents during the journey there).
We got back to our place at about 8pm, and immediately crashed into bed. I don't even remember who won Boston/Sabers last night.

Appointment was good, fast since all the questions were basically answered with a no. (Heart attack? No. History of blot clots? No. Stroke? No. etc). I found out that the clinic doctor here wanted me to some sort of additional testing, but hadn't told the clinic in Utica what kind of testing they wanted, so the clinic in Utica couldn't give me a surgery date yet. Doctor here is supposed to tell clinic in Utica on Monday, and clinic in Utica will tell me as soon as they know.

The nurse did mention they're booking surgeries for June. JUNE. That's where their schedule is right now. Like, the month after May, as in, possibly five to eight weeks away. Like, WHAT? JUNE?!

I had to sign a zillion and six forms, the funniest being a waiver promising not to get pregnant 18-24 months before and after surgery. Sure! I'll sign that one without hesitation, thanks! I have to be off birth control pills for a month before & after surgery as well - so am kicking myself for getting rid of those condoms right about now. Oh and I have a whole page of blood tests that need to be done, quite lovely. And a little packet of info for my doctor to fill out plus an EKG to do and I have to request my sleep study results. Trick is, the info & bloodwork is only good for 30 days, and has to be faxed to them at least 1 week before surgery.

And after surgery, I have to go do a whole wack of bloodtests again, at least 1 week before my visit, which I will be doing a whole bunch of - at the 3 week, 3 month, 6 month & 1 year mark.

Financially I'm most worried about the week-long stay for surgery and the gas for the 3 week visit after...sigh. So I'm going to go there and type this: If anyone wants to make a donation to this fund shoot me a twitter/email/facebook. It would be more than appreciated. Thanks.

Turning bad into good.

First: a little background. In Ontario, there's provincial funding for school called Ontario Student Assistance Program (loans, of course, lets not get crazy here). OSAP has a basic minimum academic requirement to maintain in order to get your next loan - which is passing 60% of your courses. If you don't maintain this, your file is red flagged and you have to meet with a Financial Assessment Officer and explain why you suck and explain via letter to OSAP why they should just hand over the damn money already.

As you can guess, I went through this process many, many times. Like, every semester from January 07 to April 08 (summers included). Ahem.

And the lovely Officer assigned to my file is a wonderful woman who got to know me quite well (as we've already established) and has been an amazing asset to have over the last year. In fact, she was the one who arranged for me to come back a semester earlier than I expected on full OSAP, among other things.

This February I was preoccupied with the whole Mexico fiasco and forgot to apply for the semester bursary in the time the application window was open. I sent off a panicked email to her and she promptly replied that she couldn't do anything until everybody elses applications were disbursed (April), but after that she would drop off a paper application for me at the Registrar's Office for me to fill out. I did so, and today I received confirmation that I received 650$ as a bursary.

See? Amazing.

Yeah! OOC funding approved!!

Soooo.

Got the call yesterday.

Initial consult is going to be April 23rd in Utica, New York.

April 23rd.

That's, like, 3 weeks away. SO EFFING SOON.

I also met the husband of the person who runs a major support group for people who've had WLS in Ottawa. (He's also had the surgery.) He's Keith's ball-hockey captain.

Small world, eh?

Yummmm

If you're on my twitter you've seen me talk about a lot of fresh, made-from-scratch food lately.

I've decided to brag a little (whats a blog for, really?) and blog about it for a week. So to catch up, the weekends meals.

Friday's dinner consisted of pork chops, made with brown sugar & apples, with a side of asparagus and mashed potatoes. (Keith put way too much milk in the potatoes; that's why they're runny). It was still super delicious though. In the spirit of full disclosure, dessert WAS a Jello chocolate pudding mix. Woops.

Saturday's breakfast was a simple banana pancake topped with fresh strawberries and sliced banana with warmed maple syrup. It was surprisingly filling and oh so very yummy.

Dinner was an elaborate affair that I totally forgot to photograph, but trust me, it was awesome. We invited Keith's dad over for dinner and served a plate of fresh Roma tomatoes topped with a slice of fresh mozzarella, chopped basil and drizzled with olive oil for the appetizer. The salad was a simple salad of mixed baby greens, romaine lettuce, quartered Roma tomatoes and shaved carrot, followed by chicken parmesan on a bed of whole-wheat bowtie pasta, with sauteed carrots, celery and broccoli, tossed with a bit of butter. For dessert I baked a lemon tart and Keith made a raspberry sugar sauce to spoon over it. All of this was made from absolute scratch using fresh ingredients. It was epic.

Sunday: For breakfast this morning, I made eggs with green onions, fresh mozzarella, green & red peppers, basil, cilantro, celery and of course, salt & pepper. I paired this with fried potatoes made with olive oil, dried rosemary and salt & pepper, and added vanilla yoghurt with sliced strawberries on the side.

SO filling. SO good. SO flavourful. And it managed to hit all five food groups - protein, veggies, dairy, starch and fruit. Hows that for awesome?

We have home-made, totally-from-scratch pizza (topped with fresh mozza, basil and tomatoes) in the works for dinner tonight. I think I'll serve it with a big salad and save half of it for lunches tomorrow. Yummy!

Thoughts on tuition & textbooks

There's two ways of looking at a part-time student. There's the kind that have a decent job, making a decent income, who goes back to school to upgrade or to expand their horizons for whatever reasons. Then there's the student who has a crappy job and is going back to school part-time to change their "careers" entirely.

I find that what colleges cater to is the first type of student - where paying 500$ per course and an extra 140$ for each courses' textbooks is not a problem. (Although I must add that the course cost is dependent on the program; when I did part-time (legal) my courses were only 300$, whereas Keith's (financial management) definitely fall in the 500$ range).

So if you're taking 3 courses at 500$ a pop, that's 1500$. That's more than I pay ($1350) as a full-time student for 5 courses! Why is this? Why don't colleges offer some kind of discount the more courses you take as a part-time student?

For example, the first course is full price. The second? Fifteen percent off. Third? Twenty to twenty five. And so on. I think this method would definitely make more money for the college (not that they need any, sheesh) because:

a) people LOOOOOOOVE buying stuff on sale.
b) More people would take more than one course per semester, thus equalling more money being paid to the college, even if it is offered at a 15-40% discount.

and c) They do it for the full-time students, why not extend the same courtesy to part-time?

Don't even get me started on textbooks. HOLY. Why? WHY? I will never understand the price of textbooks. Keith's textbooks cost us an extra 150-200$ a pop for each course, and mine aren't much better. It's INSANE. College students are one of the poorest demographics out there, and some idiot is charging 80$ a book? And the Textbook and Technology Grant (available only to full-time students, what a surprise) is a joke. And trying to re-sell them is a nightmare sometimes. I can't tell you how many times I took a book back to resell only to be told they don't accept it or they're at the limit for the semester.
(And just a note, I know all the ways to cut down your textbook costs, but that's not the purpose of this rant!). Even thinking of it gets me all ranty and stabby.

What do you think? Do you have any thoughts on my suggestions for cutting costs in favour of part-time students?

blahblahblah

• Have an interview at Famous Players on Saturday.
• Class was cancelled on Monday & today.
• Achieved 81% on Part I of my Estates client file.
• Fixed my transcript and now have a GPA of 2.83 overall.
• Midterms weren't the greatest; 65% on my Crim and 67% on Estates.
• One thing I REALLY hate; when you have someone on twitter (and they're just a regular person) and when you @ them they never reply back. Seriously? What are you, too good to talk to me? Where the heck do you get off? Uppity bitch.
• So now I kind of just want to stop following her & reading her blog...should I?
• No really, should I?

Happy Surprise

Hi! I'm Sarah's dinner. She just threw me together using the most basic ingredients in her fridge in about fifteen minutes.

I must say, I am most awesomely yummy, and will be made frequently in the future!

Ingredients: (Serves 2 very full wraps)

Base: Spinach tortilla, light scraping of 35/cal mayo & calorie-wise Ranch dressing & lettuce

Everything else: 3 oz chicken breast, cut into strips

A quarter each of red, green & orange pepper (chopped)

3 green onions (chopped)

3 celery stalks (chopped)

Just enough shredded marble cheese to cover top.

Dash each of salt, pepper & lemon pepper seasonings.

Just fry me all together for 10-15 minutes, or until the chicken is done. Add cheese on top to melt and then serve in prepared wrap.

Keith had sour cream & Diana Sauce (honey garlic) on his wrap with no cheese and also pronouced it delicious.

Pleased to meet your aquaintance! Until next time....here's to happy surprises in your kitchen. (grooooooooooan).

Inclusion/Exclusion

I got to thinking a couple of weeks ago when I went home to visit my Mom for a couple of days - about family, and when your children start bringing home their significant others, and it's serious.

Most families - at least, I think, accept their new daughter or son in law as an extension of their children, and welcome the opportunity to include a new member to family events or functions.

And that's certainly the case with Keith's side of the family. His mom & dad accepted me fully into the family, as part of them, and included in all major decisions (especially when Della passed away). Part of the family. Because I was important to Keith, and therefore important to them.

My side? Not at all. Not that there is any precedent to the matter; my older brother, although being 31, will probably never marry and is currently in an on-off again relationship for the past decade (and my mother has only met her once or twice in that time). I am the first in my family to be engaged, and the first one to try to actually include my significant other with trips home/family functions.

My mother has - quite bluntly - told me that she has no relation to Keith, no duty to include him in any family functions, anything of that nature. Quite simply, she does not see him as having any ties to her family, despite him being engaged to her daughter and one day the father of her grandchildren. My father, while on the surface seemed to include him, the Mexico fiasco proved otherwise. And I know it isn't just because it's Keith, it'd be anyone I brought home.

And it breaks my heart. Because he is my family. Because I know it should be different. Because he is the single most important person in my life, and my parents can't/won't see that.

I don't think what my parents are demostrating towards Keith is normal. Do you? What are your experiences with in-laws, or your parents inclusion of your significant other?

Pruning

Keith & I are spring-pruning our finances. Since I don't have a job at the moment, all we have monthly is his paycheque and a bit of money from CPP each month (my dad is a disabled contributor, and I'm under 25 and in full-time post secondary).

Our rent is about half Keith's monthly income. Actually, its about 72$ more. We don't have credit cards, or lines of credit, or overdraft protection. So that means we have about 900$ per month for all bills & personal. It's really not much but it's doable if we are super, super careful.

Good news is that Keith's desktop is finally paid off, so that eliminates a monthly bill of 65$. Another thing is I finally convinced Keith that we don't use our home phone since getting our cell phones. So that's another 71$ bill monthly that's essentially gone. Already we've cut back 136$ of our fixed expenses by getting rid of those two bills.

One thing I need to get into is clipping coupons and watching sales in order to cut back on our grocery bill. I'm also toying with the idea of making my own laundry soap; apparently it's super cheap, lasts forever, and works just as well. I don't receive any coupon books or flyers right now, but it's definitely something to look into if it warrants it. Do any of you have any suggestions for websites where I could find manufacturer coupons on everyday items or think getting coupon books is a good idea?

We're also looking into cutting back our cable portion of our bill. Currently we spend about 160$ on cable, which includes a PVR box, extra digital box in the bedroom, Sportspak for OHL hockey, extended basic, and then all the stupid fees they charge. It's WAY too much, in my opinion, to be paying every month just on TV. It's actually sickening.

For reducing that amount, we have a few ideas: Keith mentioned getting rid of the Sportspak once the Bulls season is over (March 13), which takes an amazing 30$ off monthly. I actually took a closer look at the bill today and discovered that while the extra box is only 5$, the fee they charge for an extra outlet is 7$! That's twelve dollars a month for something we barely use. Also, we pay 57$ for "extended basic" cable. We watch channels 3 to 16, 30, 31, 34, 42, 45, 46, 54. That's IT. Twenty three channels and we pay 57$ a month for the privilege? Ridiculous. So we're looking into reducing it to just the absolute basic package, which is 30$, and adding channel 30, 31/34 (I could be persuaded to just pick one, or neither), 45 and 46 individually, if they aren't included in basic cable (channels 42 and 54 are "nothing else is on" channels, and I doubt we'll miss them that much). So that chops another 27$ off our bill. Total savings; $69 a month. SIXTY NINE DOLLARS. Excuse me while I hyperventilate.

So, all told, we're looking at a significant monthly savings of 205$. Again, with the hyperventilation. For us, that's HUGE to eliminate from our budget. I feel I must note that we do have 130$ for a season of ball hockey for Keith coming up & also 520$ for his course for the summer, but this puts us in a much better position to afford those kinds of things.

Right now for fixed expenses, other than rent and Rogers (calculated at its current cost of 300$), is the gym, which is another 140$, and bus passes, about 165$. That leaves about 300$/month for food, laundry and personal spending. We can't save anything right now, which scares me and is definitely not ideal, but we can survive.

What are your experiences with cutting back expenses? Have you done any of it lately? Any ideas/suggestions or tips?

(my take on) Healthcare

A week ago Leah from fiveblondes did an excellent post on healthcare & it inspired me to write about my own experience. Also, I found out about this process through talking to a dear twitter friend, Jania. (who TOTALLY just twisted my arm into giving her credit *wink)

1) Decided that surgery would probably be the only option to losing (and keeping) weight off. I'm having Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass. Benefit: Way too many to list here.

2) Called the weight management clinic I went to last year. Got an appointment for Thursday morning. Cost: Zero dollars. Waiting time: A day and a half.

3) Had appointment with doctor to discuss surgery & options. Cost: Zero dollars. Time: About an hour. Benefit: Learned about the surgery, got the ball rolling.

4) Learned I will either have the surgery at my local hospital, or go to Utica, New York and have it done there. Time: If I have it here, the waiting time is 5-6 months until surgery. New York, the time is about 3 months.

Cost: For the surgery itself (in both places): zero dollars. Travel is not covered for the New York option, neither is the 2-week liquid Optifast diet beforehand (for either option; about 92$). Also, Keith might miss 3 days of work (still to be decided if it's paid or not) to come with me.
For medication, the cost will be zero dollars as well. However, that is due to my mother's excellent health plan (which I am covered under until the age of 25 if enrolled in full-time post-secondary studies) and not related to strictly healthcare.

So. yeah. I should know next month where I'm going to have the surgery. It's going to be a reaaaally long month.

Redecorate

I need some redecorating help in my apartment in the worst way. Right now, we have three red shelves on our walls, and they are full of hockey figuerines. I can't say that without cringing, because holy hell dude, inappropriate in a grown-ups apartment.

But Keith is very attached to these stupid things, so that's the first thing I need help with. How to convince him that they suck and need to be put away, because he is thirty-one years old, not seven anymore, so help me god?

That's not to say that some (like, ONE PER SHELF) can't stay. Because, hell, I'm all for mixing in styles and preferences and baby steps people. But seriously, it needs to be changed, because it makes our living room look like a five year old boys bedroom, and that is not good.

So, I need suggestions for what to actually put on the shelves. Funky vases? Big, thick, chunky candles grouped together? I'm not into figuerines, or crystal things, so that's out. I'd like to keep each shelf under 30$, but the cheaper the better. Any suggestions?

And that brings me to these two areas that need an overhaul as well.

I could be persuaded to leave the tops of the bookcases empty, but the top of the TV thing needs to be cleared out. (yes, those are army guy figure-thingys. ewwww). I actually was thinking of keeping it V.E.R.Y. minimalist, and thought the candle arrangement that Somi'sNilsa did in her fireplace was really awesome. Maybe only having something like that in the space would be enough?

(taken with permission, Nilsa's AWESOME fireplace candly-thingy)

What do you think? What should I do for the 3 shelves & top of the TV?

it does matter. it feels good.

I love this country, proudly, fiercely, unabashedly.
I could have watched the Olympics all month.
Can't wait for 2012 London & 2014 Sochi.

Not only was this the first time we won gold on home soil,
it was the Olympics where we set a new record for most gold
won by any country, ever.

It was an Olympic of stories.
Of Alex Bilodeau, and his brother.
Of Charles Hamelin and his girlfriend, Marianne St. Gelais.
Of Joannie Rochette, who continues to make me cry.
Of Clara Hughes. The only Olympian to win multiple medals
in both Summer & Winter.
Of double gold in both genders of hockey.
Of Jon Montgomery & his pitcher of beer.

Countless stories, immortalized forever.

Vancouver 2010, you did good. Really good.

Stephen Burnt says it better than I ever, ever could.
This made me cry. And love this country just a little bit more.
As if that were even possible.

Whatever

So. Didn't get the walls washed or the lids tightened today. What I did do;

Wash & mopped floors.
Vacuumed living room.
3 loads of laundry. FOLDED & put away.
Watched Korean short track speed skaters play dirty.
Not that it mattered, Charles Hamlen (don't care if that's spelled wrong) choked anyway.
Wiped down 3 bookcases & top of TV.
Took out garbage. Multiple times.
Made bed after washing bedding.
Windexed desk. (it's glass, windex is necessary).
Ate the most awesomest honey-garlic chicken wings, thanks to Keith's foresight to marinate said chicken for a day.
Cleaned bathroom cabinets (3 of them!) and threw out a garbage bag worth of products we don't use.
Felt my heart ache so deeply for what Once An Fertile is going through that I can't bring myself to comment. Feel so bad.
Bonded with sister over horrible childhood.
Got drunk with said sister. and (her) boyfriend.
Felt overwhelming gratitude and love that I am engaged to Keith, and so past the drama that comes along with "just" having a boyfriend.
Broke the seal and therefore must end this post.

Love you all!

Accountable

Am dashing off a quick note so it actually gets done:

Laundry. Probably about 2 loads. DO FULLY. Wash/dry/fold/put away. (I say this only because after my wal-mart job and having to fold 8 tables every shift, I am not a fan of folding. It's bad - it's to the point where the clean clothes stay in the basket for days. Am trying to change that habit.)
Wipe down both fans.
Wash walls of dust & built-up handprints in foyer & kitchen area.
Re-tighten pot & pan handles & lids and (maybe?) re-organize cupboard we put them in.

Look, kitties!

We ended up not going to Mexico afterall. I won't get into it; don't really want to talk/think about it. To say I'm pissed & disappointed would be putting it mildly.

Anyway! Here's some cute pictures of the new kitty in our house, Atlanta. We're taking care of her while my sister lives with my FIL since my FIL has an old, crotchey cat who wouldn't do well with another cat in the house. She's tiiiiiiiiiiiny; easily the smallest cat I've ever seen thats full-grown (she's just over a year old). Elvis and her seem to get along great - Elvis grooms her all the time and they've taken to sharing a bed. SO adorable. Serious.

Quick note

Off to Mehico very, very soon. Have dragged out suitcase we're taking, now to actually pack it. Always fun. (Not).

Olympics FINALLY start tomorrow. Am so ready for them to start, just because all the damn ads and sponsorship spots are driving me CRAZY. Currently going through next week and PVRing everything we want to watch re: Olympics and some of our regular shows. I must confess; I'm more of a summer Olympics kinda gal. More events I'm interested in - none of this luge or skeleton crap.

The only thing I am taking on this trip that is electronic is my camera. Trying to convince Keith that's all we need but I have a feeling his PsP is going to find its way into my purse. So I won't be blogging next week - not that it actually matters if I go a week without blogging, because I do it regularly - but anyway, just thought I'd let you know.

Keith is currently making the best dinner evah. Caramelized onions, fried peppers (green&red), & chicken, shredded cheese and brown rice, wrapped in a tortilla and baked just until crispy. I know there's a name for these things but I can't think of it right now. Whatever. It's good.

Am drinking the bottle of wine I got for my birthday. <3

Daydreams

I want to have a backyard, so we can make an ice rink in the winter and practice our skating.

I want to have enough space to hang a clothesline, so that six months of the year our washing can be dried by the sun and smell of growing grass.

I want to grow my own vegetable garden, and decorate my house with flowers plucked from the ground.

I want to learn how to can my own vegetables and fruits this summer so I can make homemade jam and spaghetti sauce (just to name a few).

I want to work because I enjoy it. I never want to work "because we need the money."

I want to be home most days when my children get home. I don't want them to come home to an empty house while they're in elementary school.

I want quiet nights of family more than I want to be a fulltime chauffeur; to strive towards a good balance between activities and rest.

I want my children to know they can achieve anything; that theres no difference whether they're gay or straight; that they can call, no questions asked, when they need to leave (or to prevent) an unsafe situation.

I want a car big enough to hold multiple bags of hockey gear and instrument cases.

I want to have a household where the computer is out in the family area, and cell phones are loaned out only when they're out on their own and returned when they come home.

I want them to know the joys of living in a small town, but have the benefits of a city close by.

I want to learn how to bake my own bread from scratch and kneaded by hand.

What do you want, when you think about your family?

Stressors

it seems that stress keeps me away. for fear of puking all over this little corner of cyberspace about the fears and fustrations i've been dealing with, i've just kept silent.

now that i no longer feel like i'm being choked to death, it's time to come back.
(twitter is easy to be glossy and breezy, you can't really get into deep stuff in 140 characters.)

I've been dealing with tons of stuff over the last month; my sister is moving down here to live with my father-in-law on Friday. This decision comes after she spent all of January spent dithering about and being difficult and stubborn and ARRRRRRRGH DRAMA.

I'm finding it extremely difficult to be motivated this semester for school. Two 8am classes (Mon&Thurs) and the 50 minute bus ride to/from does not help. Must just buckle down and push through, but it might be all for naught ANYWAY, since 57% of faculty across Ontario voted in favour of a strike if they can't come to an agreement by the 12th. OH EFFING JOY. Cue the stress gong.

We've been doing some lovely 'creative accounting' this past month getting money saved for Mexico and all the stuff necessary to live. Biggest stressor of all, but things are looking way, way up lately, so the noose around my neck has loosened and I feel so much better about it. Whew.

I quit my job last week; my last day is Feb 9th. Three hours on a bus (90 min each way) was just too much, especially when I was working until 11pm. Once I quit, it was such a huge relief. But now the 'crap I need a job and I don't have one' anxiety has set in, compounded by the fact that I can't start in a new job until the 23rd. Best case scenario is I have a job set up before I leave for Mexico, but I'll also accept the scenario of having a job by the Friday of getting back. Ha!

I turned 23 yesterday. Monday is the worst day to have a birthday, in my opinion. We're going out to celebrate this Saturday with drinks, followed by clubbing and more drinky.

And only 12 more days until Mexico! YAY! All I'm taking for electronics is my camera. No laptops, no cell phones, no mp3 players. Just unplug and kick back for 8 days. Also stocking up on sunscreen, because nothing ruins a vacation faster than a sunburn. And I sunburn while it's cloudy out. We'll be in Mexico for the first week of the Olympics and miss all the good hockey medal glory. Woops. Our PVR will be working overtime that week so we can watch it when we get home. Thank goodness for modern technology! I'm not sure Keith would agree to go to a different country during the Games otherwise!

Hopefully I'll start blogging more. Actually, one of my resolutions was to blog at least 2 times a week. That worked out well, didn't it? Which is exactly why I don't make resolutions. But. Seriously. Need to blog more.